Kiss Me, Break My Heart: Episode 2

What have I done to our friendship?

Cassie

"To Eve!" Jace shouts over the blaring music, raising his shot of tequila. "And to the end of exams!"

"To Eve!" I chime in, lifting my shot. "And to a summer filled with sun, sand, and beaches!"

Eve, already holding her glass, raises it with a grin. "To school being over, and to me finally being legal to drink. Woo-hoo!"

"Cheers!" we all exclaim in unison.

We down our shots and slam the glasses back onto the cluttered kitchen counter. Plastic cups, half-empty bottles of alcohol, and snacks cover nearly every surface. Eve promised we had enough food to feed an army, but I'm not so sure we got it right. It seems like the entire senior year of Magpie Grove High School showed up tonight. With summer beginning and graduation just around the corner, and considering Eve's immense popularity, we probably should have anticipated the turnout.

"Another round, please, barkeep," I playfully request from Jace.

"Your wish is my command," he replies.

Without thinking, I reach out and brush a lock of Jace's sandy blond hair away from his eye. He responds with a lopsided grin, and a jolt of excitement rushes through me.

"Let's raise a toast to the next chapter of our lives!" Eve shouts above the chatter of girls singing along to the music in the corner of the kitchen.

"Absolutely!" I agree. "Perfect timing."

Especially because tonight, I've decided to gather my courage and tell Jace that I want more than just friendship. After years of biting my tongue and holding back, I'm finally ready to put my heart on the line.

I can't help but hope that I've accurately interpreted Jace's signals of interest in me. Over the past couple of months, he's stopped dating other girls and consistently showers me with compliments. He notices when I put in extra effort, whether it's wearing my hair down or donning a dress instead of my usual jeans and t-shirts. He laughs at all my jokes and prioritizes spending time with me over his guy friends.

If I'm mistaken about Jace's feelings, my confession could make things incredibly awkward between us. But every day, I grow more confident that Jace feels the same way I do. Plus, the timing feels right. Eve has started a serious relationship, and after keeping her boyfriend's identity a secret for two months, she's finally ready to reveal who he is.

For fourteen years, we've been an inseparable trio, but with Eve's boyfriend entering the picture, we can become a foursome. No one needs to be left out.

"Alright, spill the beans, Eve. When do I get to meet Mystery Man?" I bounce on my toes, unable to contain my curiosity. "Is he here tonight?"

Jace finishes pouring the shots and glances at Eve, waiting for her response to my question.

"You'll meet him soon," Eve says, grabbing the shot prepared for her. "Let's just have a drink first."

I struggle to hide my frown as I watch Eve gulp down her tequila. She's been incredibly secretive about this new relationship, aside from confirming that I know the lucky guy and expressing how happy she is. It's almost as if she's anxious about us meeting him, but I can't comprehend why. Sure, I may not possess Eve's natural beauty, flirtatious nature, or confidence, but I have my own appeal as a sporty girl. Guys appreciate being able to have conversations with me about almost anything. And Jace easily gets along with everyone.

Besides, anyone Eve is dating would be an improvement compared to her previous boyfriend, Gary, who was twenty-four years old. Unless that's the reason Eve has been keeping her boyfriend's identity from us...

"Please tell me you're not back with Gary," I groan. "He's way too old for you."

"Oh God, no. I can happily say that Mystery Man is our age," Eve reassures me.

"So where is he? He should be here by now. Come on, the suspense is killing me."

The party has been in full swing for over an hour.

"He's here," Eve responds, offering a smile but avoiding direct eye contact.

"Seriously? Is that all you're going to tell me?" I press. "You've been going on about this guy for two months. We're best friends, Eve. You're supposed to share everything with us." I turn to Jace, placing my hand on my hip. "Tell her we deserve to know who he is."

Jace shifts his weight from one foot to the other and casually shrugs, which sends a faint ripple of unease through me.

"Help me out here," I plead with Jace, attempting to pinpoint why I suddenly feel like something is amiss. "Aren't you as curious as I am?"

Normally, Jace would be the first one to tease us whenever we talk about guys. Now that I think about it, though, he hasn't teased Eve about her new boyfriend much. In fact, he has hardly mentioned him at all. I initially attributed it to him spending more time with me, but maybe my assumption was wrong.

Suddenly, the music abruptly stops, and Jace clears his throat, his hazel eyes flickering up to meet mine. "Well, not exactly. I, um, already know who he is."

"You already know?" I grip the counter tightly as I turn to Eve, my heart pounding in my chest as anger, hurt, and an odd sense of betrayal rush through me. "Jace knows? How come he knows, but I don't?"

"Um, because..." Eve glances at Jace, then back at me. "It's a bit complicated. You see—"

"Yo, Eve!" Declan Fox shouts as he enters the kitchen, cutting her off. "Who's in charge of the music? Can we switch it up?"

Declan may not be part of our tight-knit trio, but he's a good friend to both Jace and me. I've watched countless footy games with him by my side, cheering on Jace. Under normal circumstances, I'd be glad to see him, but his interruption tonight might just push me over the edge.

"Hey, Cass," Declan says, looking me over, completely unaware of my frustration. He grins and leans back, emitting a low wolf whistle. "Damn, you're looking stunning tonight."

"Thanks, Deck."

Declan sidles up next to me, wrapping his arm around me with such force that it almost knocks me off balance.

"I've got my girl right here," Declan tells Jace, squeezing me against his side. "Where's yours?"

Under different circumstances, I might have revelled in Declan's compliment, but I'm too preoccupied with what's happening here. I've been relentlessly asking Eve about the identity of her boyfriend for ages. Why does Jace know who he is? Why did Eve confide in Jace and not me? And if Jace knows, why hasn't he told me? None of this adds up. Something feels off. Something isn't right.

"Why do we need to change the music?" Eve questions Declan.

Declan shrugs. "We need more rock. And before you kick my ass, all the guys are threatening to leave if this shitty pop music keeps playing."

Eve rolls her eyes. "And here I thought it was my birthday party."

"It is, but couldn't you sprinkle in a few rock songs here and there to keep everyone happy?"

Eve glances at Jace, then at me, holding up a finger as she starts walking backward. "I'll be right back. I promise."

I could swear I hear Jace mutter under his breath as Eve and Declan embark on their mission to change up the music.

Turning to Jace once more, I inquire, "You know who her mystery man is?"

The guilt shining in his hazel eyes turns the dinner I had—pasta—into a heavy stone. He didn't appear that guilty when I caught him using my razor to shave his face during school camp last year.

"Well, don't keep me waiting. Tell me who he is. Please," I practically plead.

"She made me promise not to tell you. She wants to tell you herself."

"Oh."

Hurt and envy entwine, and even though I desperately want to avoid overreacting, a lump of lead settles in my stomach and makes its way to my throat, obstructing proper swallowing. Jace and Eve are sharing secrets, secrets they’re keeping from me. In the fourteen years of our friendship, it has never felt like this before—as if I'm being left out, excluded.

Will Eve feel the same way if I proceed with my plan to ask Jace out? Am I about to exclude my best friend and make her feel like a third wheel?

No. Eve has someone. We'll be a foursome.

"Hey," Jace says softly, gently nudging my arm. "You look a bit pale. Want to step outside for a bit? Get some fresh air."

"But Eve—"

"I'll let her know we'll be outside."

I observe him effortlessly navigating through the crowd blocking the doorway to the living room. At six feet and two inches, he's a solid mass of muscle, honed by years of playing footy. I used to play football too. It's just one of the many things we have in common. We enjoy almost everything together. We're destined to take over our fathers' business and become business partners. We're not just a good match, we're a great match. He'll see that, won't he?

A few moments later, he returns, his hazel eyes radiant with warmth and concern. "Eve will join us when she's finished. Come on, let's go," Jace says, throwing his arm around my shoulders.

We make our way to the back door, and as soon as it opens, the intense heat rushes in to greet us. Tonight's supposed to stay above twenty-nine degrees, and it definitely feels like it's still hovering in the low thirties. The only people braving the heat are the smokers. I follow Jace around the corner of the house, down to a small grassy area with a bench.

"You look amazing, Cass," Jace compliments as we sit down together.

"Thank you."

His compliment sends my heart aflutter and a warm tingle races through my body, completely unrelated to the weather. I dressed to impress him tonight, wearing a short black skirt and a fitted black top that accentuates my decent cleavage. And it's not just the outfit I went all out on—I also curled my dark brown, shoulder-length hair with a curling wand, framing my face just right. Mum even helped me apply movie star-worthy eye makeup.

I've always had a tomboy side, and I'll never be as thin as Eve. Mum has drilled into me countless times that I shouldn't compare myself to others, but sometimes it's hard to resist. Eve, tall and slim, boasts perfect raven hair cascading down to her backside, and captivating violet eyes. When guys meet the two of us for the first time, they invariably look at her first. I suppose I'm pretty enough, and I'm fit, healthy, and toned, but standing next to Eve often makes me feel small and, well, average.

"You should wear skirts more often. They really suit you," Jace compliments.

His words bring me even more joy, and as I look up, locking eyes with him, my heart races twice as fast. The affection and appreciation in his gaze tell me it's the right moment. My heart pounds against my ribcage. We're alone, at least for now—it's the perfect time to confess my feelings.

"Jace, um, I wanted to talk to you about something."

"Is this about your Aunt Ruth's summer invitation? Eve mentioned it earlier, and we've decided you can't leave us for two months. We'd miss you too much."

I smile. I hadn't intended on going, but knowing he doesn't want me to leave gives me that extra boost of confidence I need right now.

"I'm not going to go."

"In that case, what did you want to talk to me about?"

I rub my suddenly damp palms along the length of my skirt. My heart races even faster now, and I start feeling a bit lightheaded. This is worse than when I went for my driver's license. I need to try and relax, or I'll end up freaking him out.

"I've, um, been doing a lot of thinking lately... about you and me... together," I say, my voice wavering.

Beside me, Jace stiffens, and when I steal a quick glance at him, he's motionless, like a statue. His reaction isn't exactly encouraging, far from what I had hoped for. But I've started this now. If I stop, I'll never know if he shares the same feelings. And I need to know. I've built up this moment in my mind for years. If I want to be with him, I have to put myself out there. He's worth the risk.

"I was wondering," I continue, desperately trying to swallow down the doubts swirling inside me. "Now that Eve is seeing someone, would you be interested in going on a double date with them?"

"A double date?" he repeats, his tone laced with surprise.

"Yes."

"With you and me?" he asks, seeking clarification.

"Yes, with Eve and her boyfriend," I affirm.

"You and me... on a date?" Jace repeats, his words hanging in the air.

My heart pounds in my ears as I nod, my mouth feeling dry and parched.

"Wow, Cassie, I..." Jace runs a hand through his hair and exhales heavily. The pained expression on his face tells me everything I need to know.

A wave of humiliation and embarrassment crashes over me as I rapidly process his hesitance. He's not into me. He doesn't want me. He doesn't like me—certainly not the way I had hoped. My feelings for him were merely a figment of my imagination.

The weight of that realization crushes my chest, and right now, I'd do anything to disappear. What have I done to our friendship? I fear I've plunged it into the depths of awkwardness. If I don't try to salvage it, we might both drown in the aftermath.

"Jace, it's fine. Forget—" I begin, my voice trembling.

"You know how much you mean to me, right? How deeply I care about you?" Jace interrupts.

"But only as a friend," I finish for him, slumping forward, feeling sick to my stomach.

"You don't understand. I can't go on a date with you."

God, this is far worse than any outcome I had prepared for. Is there any chance I can laugh this off and get Jace to pretend this incredibly embarrassing conversation never happened?

I force a strained laugh. "It was a stupid idea anyway. Forget it. Remind me never to drink tequila again. They should put a warning on the label—'May ruin friendships.'"

"I'm the one who should be sorry, Cass. I should have told you earlier," Jace says with a sigh, running a hand through his hair—an agitated gesture I know all too well. "The reason I can't go on a date with you is because... I'm actually... seeing someone."

His words hit me like a bowling ball, nearly knocking me off my seat. I struggle to process what he's saying. I always know when he's involved with someone because he tells me everything.

"Who?" I manage to ask, my voice barely a whisper.

It's the second time tonight that I've been left in the dark. Eve is seeing someone, and she's kept it from me. Now Jace is seeing someone too.

The reason for their secrecy hits me like a ton of bricks, leaving me reeling with the sudden realization.

"Oh... my... God."

Jace reaches out a hand to steady me, but I pull away, wrenching my arm from his grasp. Jace and Eve are together. Jace is the guy Eve has been smiling over for the past two months. Jace is Eve's mystery man.

"It's Eve," I say, my voice trembling. "It's Eve, isn't it? And you didn't tell me! How could you not tell me?"

I'm aware that my voice is bordering on hysterical, but the sense of betrayal is so intense, so overwhelming. It feels as though someone has ripped out my heart and tossed it against the nearest wall. The two people I love the most are in a relationship—with each other. And they made a conscious decision to keep me in the dark. All this time, Eve has been gushing about her new boyfriend, and she couldn't tell me that Jace is the one she's in love with?

Oh God. We're both in love with Jace.

"Cassie, I wanted to tell you. I really did. But Eve thought we should wait," Jace explains.

I glare at him, the hurt and anger burning within me. "Wait for what?"

"She was worried that our relationship would ruin everything between the three of us."

"And you thought that keeping secrets from each other wouldn't ruin things? I mean, how long have you been together?"

How long have you been hiding this from me?

I search his hazel eyes desperately, hoping to find something that will ease the pain.

"Two months, at most," he admits.

"Two months," I repeat, unable to contain my restlessness. "When? When did this happen?"

"It was during the Grand Final barbecue at my place. You left early with a headache, and Eve and I ended up watching some old movies. I don't even know how it happened. One moment we were watching Casablanca, and the next we were kissing... and you can probably guess the rest," he confesses, looking incredibly uncomfortable as he leans forward, his elbows on his knees.

Yes, I can guess the rest, and it makes me feel sick.

I stop pacing and stare at the guy I've loved for so many years. We're both silent for a moment before I decide that I need to rip off the rest of the Band-Aid.

"So, why now? Why is she finally ready to tell me? Is everything working out between you?" I ask, my voice laced with bitterness.

"Yes," he replies simply.

"And do you love her?"

"Yes."

It's just one word, but it feels like a rusty dagger being plunged into my heart. I place my hand over my chest, trying to cover the gaping hole his words have created. It's nearly impossible to swallow with the lump in my throat.

"Great," I manage to force out. "You love Eve. That's great."

"Cass, about what you said before..." Jace begins, his voice filled with desperation.

"Forget it. Please," I interject, my voice strained.

"I never knew you had thought about us being together," he says desperately. "Why didn't you say something earlier?"

"I didn't mean it."

"You wouldn't have asked if you didn't mean it."

"Okay, maybe I've entertained the idea once or twice, but it was just a result of everything changing around us, including Eve finding someone. It meant nothing. Really."

Jace studies me, weighing his options, and I feel a sense of relief when he finally nods, accepting my words.

"I don't want this to change us, Cassie. You, me, and Eve – we're a trio. No matter what's going on between Eve and me, it's the three of us, and it always will be," Jace insists.

He's trying to convince himself, but deep down, I know this will change everything. Eve and Jace love each other, and our dynamic will never be the same again.

The sound of footsteps catches my attention, and I turn to see Eve approaching. As I take in her stunning face and perfect figure, it becomes clear why Jace wouldn't give me a second glance when he can have Eve. The idea that he could ever be interested in me is laughable.

Eve notices my expression and stops, her eyes filled with nervousness as she addresses me. "I know I should have told you, Cassie-"

"Yes, you should have told me," I interrupt, my gaze shifting between Jace and Eve. "Both of you should have told me."

"We wanted to so many times, but we... we wanted to be sure before we made things complicated. Can you understand that? Can you forgive us?" Eve pleads, taking a step towards me.

So, Eve and Jace are now a "we"? An "us"? And I'm not a part of it. Someone will inevitably be left out, just as Eve had predicted all along. It's the very reason I never confessed my feelings to Jace until now. Eve knew that someone would end up feeling like a third wheel, and she was right.

"You don't think this is already complicated?" I gesture between the three of us. "You two have been keeping a secret from me for months."

"I'm sorry, you're right. I've been selfish. I just didn't want anything to jeopardize my happiness, Cass. I see now how wrong that was. I never meant to hurt you. Please, Cassie," Eve pleads, closing the distance between us. "Please don't hate me."

Hate her? I don't hate her.

Yes, I'm angry with her, but I don't hate my friends. Besides, Eve and Jace aren't the only ones who have been keeping secrets, are they? I've been in love with Jace for years, and I've never had the courage to admit it to either of them. If Eve had known how I felt, she never would have pursued a relationship with Jace. But I stayed silent. Now, Eve is in love with Jace, and my two closest friends in the world have found happiness together.

Despite the heartbreak it causes me, I'm genuinely happy for Eve. And, in a way, it's for the best that I kept my feelings hidden. Confessing my love for Jace could have stood in the way of their happiness.

"You know I don't hate you," I tell Eve, mustering the strength to move closer and embrace her. "If you're happy, then I'm happy for you."

"Thank God," Eve breathes, holding onto me as if her life depends on it. "For a moment, I was afraid you'd never forgive me."

"Don't be silly."

After giving Eve one final squeeze, I gather my strength and turn to hug Jace, who has risen from his seat. I want him to believe that I'm completely okay with the situation, that he doesn't need to dwell on anything I said before discovering his relationship with Eve.

"Now that I've had time to process it, I think it's great news," I assure him.

As his arms encircle me and he returns the hug, every hope and dream I've ever harboured about being with Jace crumbles. It wilts, curling inward and dying in the most agonizing way. The time Jace has spent with me lately, the attention he's shown me—it was all an attempt to ensure I didn't feel left out. And perhaps he was compensating for keeping this secret from me. I misunderstood his gestures as something more. I feel like such a fool.

I've told them that I'm happy for them, but beneath the surface, the pain, betrayal, heartbreak, and disappointment are tearing me apart. All I want to do is cry, and I'm unsure how much longer I can keep the tears at bay. There's no way I can plaster a smile on my face and pretend everything is fine, at least not tonight.

"I think I might head home," I announce.

Eve looks horrified. "You can't leave yet! It's my birthday; we haven't even cut the cake."

"I know, but I'm not feeling too well. I don't think the tequila agrees with me."

Jace interjects quickly, "I'll walk you back to your place."

"No, no, you stay. I'll be okay walking home."

"Cassie, you've been drinking," Eve protests.

"I believe I can manage the short walk down the street by myself."

Jace steps closer, and I instinctively take a step back. It's something I've never done before, and he stares at me as though I've just struck him. "I'm not letting you walk home alone, Cass."

"I'll be fine."

"Cassie—"

"But if you really insist…" I trail off weakly.

If Eve and Jace are determined, it's easier to give in than to keep pushing back.

Eve reaches out and squeezes my arm. "Feel better."

"I will. I'll call you tomorrow."

After a nod of agreement from Eve, I move briskly, hoping Jace won't attempt to put his arm around me or make any physical contact as I exit through the back gate and onto the sidewalk. I've eagerly seized every opportunity to spend time with Jace for as long as I can remember, but now he's my best friend's boyfriend—a person who is forever off-limits to me. There will never, ever be a future for us. That door has been slammed shut for good, and its reverberations still echo through me, ringing in my ears.

There are merely ten houses between Eve's place and mine, but this one-minute walk feels like a lifetime as we traverse the distance in uncomfortable silence.

"Home sweet home," I say, forcing a smile as we finally ascend the small incline of my driveway.

"Tell me we're okay," Jace murmurs softly, his hazel gaze penetrating mine.

"We're fine, Jace."

He nods, but a hint of uncertainty lingers in his expression. "I meant what I said, Cass. We're a trio."

No. We were a trio, but not anymore. A threesome works for friendship, but not for romantic relationships. There are certain boundaries I can't cross. Overnight, I've become the third wheel. I need to create some distance between us. They may not realize it now, but they won't want me constantly hovering around. Maybe I should consider spending some time with my aunt in Queensland after all.

"Goodnight, Jace."

Before I can step away, he leans in and softly kisses my cheek, sending waves of tingling energy throughout my entire body. He has no idea how challenging it will be for me to witness him with Eve. And that's the way it must remain. My friends are happy, and I want them to stay that way. Given enough time, I'll move on from Jace and find love with someone else. Won't I?