My head is spinning, and it has nothing to do with the beers I downed in quick succession earlier. Kia’s confession threatens every hard-won battle I’ve fought at work this week. I have ignored every pang of consciousness and squashed every doubt about doing whatever it takes to drive her away. Damn it all to hell, she had to be close to breaking point. But then she stormed out of the party, and I had to follow her.

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It takes me less than a second to regret walking out of the kitchen with Wayne. Okay, so I probably succeeded in pissing off Cam, something I was desperate to do a moment ago. But now I’m stuck with the arsehole that made a bet about my virginity and helped Cam belittle me all week.

Way to go, Kia.

Wayne cranes his head around, searching the crowd, presumably trying to locate Jo and Evan. “Did you see which way your friends went?”

“No.”

“Let’s look around then. Do you want to try inside or outside first?”

“Ah, inside. I doubt they went outside without telling me. I’ll go upstairs and look. Thanks for your help.”

The smile Wayne shoots me is filled with a confidence level that heightens my anxiety and tempts me to run back to the kitchen. “Don’t thank me yet. We haven’t found them.”

I force a polite smile. “That’s all right, I can search for them myself rather than keeping you from partying.”

Wayne’s mouth turns down at the corners. “I told you, I want to help.”

“Wayne, I really don’t need…”

I trail off as his gaze hardens.

“I insist, Kia. I couldn’t possibly abandon a damsel in distress.”

The cold calculation in his eyes combined with the smarmy smile that follows his delivery makes me shiver. Damn it, I don’t want to go outside with him, and I definitely don’t want to go upstairs with him. If we end up in a bedroom, he’s going to do his best to win the bet.

“Come on,” he says, pushing me towards the stairs now with his hand on my back. “I thought I saw a girl who looked like Jo go up the stairs after I walked in.”

I stop and turn to him. “Way-”

“Shh.” He hushes me by putting his finger over my mouth, pressing my lips into my teeth. “You’re not getting rid of me.”

The knot in my stomach grows. Cam warned me, he shook his head at me, telling me not to go with Wayne. My desire to piss him off outweighed any sense of fear I had at the time. And as Wayne propels me up the stairs, I curse myself for not being strong enough to stand my ground and tell both Cam and Wayne to fuck off.

Why? Why am I so damn weak? I’m supposed to be pulling myself together and finding my strength.

Misery over the way I’ve backslid tonight fills me, my heart racing as I take each step.

When we reach the top of the stairs, I’m relieved to see the large landing is full of people laughing, drinking and making out as if it’s the last day on earth. Anxiously, I search the crowd for any sign of Jo or Evan.

The first door on our left swings open and a pair walk out holding hands. Both look like they’ve just finished a marathon round of sex, their hair tousled, their clothes rumpled. The girl grins as the guy wraps his arm around her waist, pulling her to him, pressing a soft kiss to her temple. One of the waiting couples bolts into the room, closing the door behind them.

Is everyone on the landing waiting their turn to get lucky?

I look at Wayne. “I don’t think Jo and Evan are up here.”

“We’re here now, might as well make sure of it. How do you want to check? Door by door?”

Before I can respond, Wayne knocks on the second closed door and opens it, ignoring the protests of the people around us. My face heats as people look between Wayne and me and draw the wrong conclusion.

“I don’t think-”

“Nope, not that one.” Wayne smirks at me as he closes the door. “I know that moan, it’s not your friend.”

“Gross,” I mutter, thankful I didn’t get the chance to see who he was talking about.

Wayne ignores me. “Next door.”

Reluctantly, I trail after him as he proceeds to open door after door, the crowd of waiting couples growing disgruntled and glaring at us. Several of them tell us to wait our turn, and mortification makes me want to melt into the floor and disappear. Wayne, however, is either oblivious to my discomfort or just doesn’t care that I’m dying inside.

“Found ‘em!” Wayne announces proudly, stepping back from the fifth and final door, motioning for me to look inside the room.

Tentatively, I move to the doorway. The soft lamp light is bright enough to make out the familiar faces of my friends. The sheet barely covers Evan, who is on top. Jo moans and clutches at him as he circles his hips and thrusts into her. They’re so wrapped up in each other, they haven’t noticed they have an audience.

Jesus. How long have my friends been sleeping together? Is tonight the first night?

The way Jo reacted when Evan told me I looked good makes me think it isn’t. Did they hide what they’re doing because it’s new and they haven’t labelled their relationship?

What they do – their relationship – is none of my business. But what if they’ve hidden their relationship because they see me as fragile and don’t believe I’ll be able to handle their secret? What if without Cameron around to balance us out and make us a foursome, I’m weighing them down? A third wheel that sets them off-balance, forcing them to hide their happiness?

“Come on,” Wayne whispers in my ear, his beer-soaked breath filling my nostrils and pulling me out of my stunned stupor.

He puts his hand on my shoulder, helping me take a step back so he can close the door. I’m grateful. Jo and Evan would be embarrassed if they realised I was watching them. My embarrassment is enough for all of us.

“You okay, Kia? You don’t look so good?”

Right. Wayne. I forgot him for a second.

“Yeah?”

My answer sounds more like a question.

Wayne takes my arm. “Let’s get out of here.”

One of the bedroom doors we knocked on a minute ago opens, two women strolling out, their arms around each other’s waists. Before one of the waiting couples swoops in and takes their turn, Wayne hauls me into the room, closing the door behind him, locking the crowd out. People shout at us, banging on the door in protest.

“Sit down,” Wayne instructs.

Photo by Polina Kovaleva from Pexels

Reluctantly, I perch on the edge of the bed, trying not to think about how many people have been getting it on in this room – this bed – this evening. Wayne sits down beside me. Everyone on the landing probably believes we’re having sex right now. The thought mortifies me. And being alone in a room with him is stupid, I know. I just need a minute to get over the shock.

“You still look a little pale. Maybe you should stick your head between your knees.”

I shake my head. “I’m fine.”

He scoots closer. “I’m glad to hear it. You freaked me out there for a moment. It was like you’d never seen two people going at it.”

Hitting a little closer to the truth than I’d like, I do my best to smile. “I don’t tend to watch a lot of porn in my spare time.”

“But you have watched it before? And you’ve been with someone, right?”

His hand moves to my bare knee, his cool touch as alarming as his line of questioning.

“Yes, of course.”

I aim for confident, but fear and nervousness coat my voice. Wayne hears it and tilts his head as he studies me.

“Are you a virgin?”

“No.”

Damn the hesitance in my voice.

His eyes narrow. “Are you sure?”

“I think I’d know if I’d had sex with someone before.”

“Who have you had sex with?”

I try to stand up, but Wayne’s hand on my knee keeps me in place next to him. “That’s really none of your business.”

I try to push his hand off my knee. “I should go.”

His grip tightens, and my heart starts to race uncontrollably. “Why? Your friends are busy, Kia. They’re not missing you.” His thumb rubs the inside of my knee, causing me to shudder from revulsion.

“Wayne-”

“Come on, babe. What’s the rush? You have to have figured out by now that I’m hot for you.”

His gaze travels over me, stopping at my chest. My stomach churns.

The fear that should have been with me when Wayne locked us in this room is finally present. There’s no chance in hell I’m sleeping with him, and I need to make him understand that and back right off.

I take a deep breath. “Wayne, I know about the bet. It’s not going to happen.”

The frown he offers me is an impressive attempt to play innocent. “What bet?”

“I know you and Brooklyn have some bet going as to whether I’m a virgin.”

He stands up abruptly, anger radiating off him as he gives up all pretences of being nice. “You’ve got to be fucking kidding me.”

Gone is the charm – if you can call it that – he tried to use earlier. It’s as if someone has flipped the switch. This is the real Wayne standing before me.

“I should have known that cocksucker couldn’t keep his mouth shut.” He shoots me a glare. “I don’t know what my cousin sees in him. She’s too good for him.”

Ah, no.

At least, it would have been a resounding no before everything happened between Cam and me. Now, I should probably think of Cam and Brooklyn as perfect for each other. 

“How long did it take him to tell you?” Wayne asks, pacing the bedroom floor in front of me. “Not long, I’ll bet.”

Clearly, there’s no need for me to contribute; he’s having a conversation with himself.

“You don’t know it was him,” I say, unsure why I’m protecting him.

“It couldn’t have been anyone else. It had to have been Cam.” Abruptly, he stops pacing. “What did he tell you? I’ll bet he didn’t tell you everything.”

“I know enough to be sure I don’t want to have sex with you.”

“Because Lyn was right, wasn’t she?” He waits for my gaze to meet his, his blue eyes boring into mine. “You’ve got a thing for Cam. You’re a virgin and you’re saving yourself for him.”

“That’s ridiculous. I am not saving myself for him.”

My voice doesn’t hold the conviction it should, which is crazy because I’m telling the truth. I’m a virgin because I haven’t wanted to have sex with anyone else. There’s a difference.

“He didn’t tell you that, did he? He didn’t tell you that Lyn was doing her best to convince me you’d never fuck me because you’re still in love with Cameron.”

I feel the blood drain from my face, and I see Wayne’s shrewd gaze laser over my face – his grim determination to take my reaction as confirmation.

“I didn’t think she was right. I didn’t think anyone over the age of seventeen could possibly be a virgin.”

“I’m not a virgin,” I lie, praying he believes me.

“Bullshit! He’ll never fuck you, you know. He hates you with a passion.”

“I hate him, too.”

“Yeah, right. Your feelings for him are written all over your face right now. You’re pathetic. In love with someone who hates you.”

For a jackarse who even Cam seems to dislike, he’s right on the money with his observations. I am pathetic. I want to hate Cam, maybe part of me even is starting to, but underneath the anger and hatred, my love for him may as well still be tattooed on my soul.

“Wait until I tell Lyn.”

It’s all I can do not to plead with him not to tell her. When Brooklyn learns she was right about my feelings for Cam…there will be carnage. She’ll tell Cam, and I can’t think of any fate worse than that this second. But asking Wayne not to tell Brooklyn is pointless.

I’m so screwed.

“Stay away from Cam and Brooklyn,” Wayne demands. “Better yet, fuck off. Leave like you did before. You’re not wanted here. I’m glad I didn’t end up sleeping with a frigid bitch like you.”

After he walks out and slams the door, tears prick the backs of my eyes. I sniffle and take a deep breath, willing the tears not to fall. I refuse to cry over Wayne Bishop. I may not be as strong as I can be yet, but I’m not giving him permission to break me. I don’t know him or like him. His opinion doesn’t matter. Neither do Cam’s and Brooklyn’s.

Yeah, right. If I could stay in here forever, I might be able to convince myself that’s the truth. What’s Cam going to say when Wayne gives him the verdict? He’s already been an unbearable bully this week. With this new knowledge, he’ll go out of his way to remind me again how much he hates me, how he wishes I was gone. Or better yet, dead. Maybe he’ll even wish I never jumped out of the way of his car.

Would he have felt better if he’d hit me? Would it have eased his pain and suffering? Would his sister and father be happy?

I stand up and walk to the door, ignoring the dirty looks and snide comments from the couples waiting outside the room as I make my exit. I’ll call a taxi as soon as I’m outside. Then I’ll text Jo and Evan to let them know I left. I can’t hide forever, but I can’t face Cam and Brooklyn again tonight.

After running down the stairs, I push through the crowd in the living room and open the front door, letting myself out. The night air is cool after the warm February day. Heat still lingers in the pavement and the brick fence of the neighbouring property as I walk past it, but the air is a cool caress over my skin.

I’m just about to take my phone out and call a taxi when the front door opens again, spilling light and people onto the doorstep of the party-house. The laughing and shouting is so loud, I walk further down the driveway so I can escape the noise and distraction. I get as far as the fence line before I hear him call my name.

“Saskia!”

The sound of Cam’s voice is enough to incite my heart to sprint out of my chest. Does he know already? Why else would he be this impatient to put me in my place? Damn it, I can’t do this right now. My confrontation with Wayne has taken all the fight out of me and I just want to go home.

I don’t turn around to look at Cam. Instead, I keep walking, hoping he’ll go back to the party – back to Brooklyn – and leave me alone. I have to call a taxi, but that can wait until Cam is no longer after me.

“Saskia!”

His voice is harder, more desperate; it only spurs me to move more quickly. And when I hear footsteps gaining on me, I break into a run. I haven’t trained or hit the track for ages, but I still find speed as I sprint towards the end of the street.

“Kia!”

His hand on my upper arm tells me I’m caught. If I was anxious before, it’s nothing compared to how I feel as he swings me around to face him.

Adrenaline courses through me so fast I feel sick. Trying to pull away, I say: “I don’t want to talk to you. Just go back inside. I’m not doing this with you now.”

“You’re not doing what with me now? Acting like you’ve got a brain? You can’t just take off down a dark road without anyone with you. You’ll end up chopped into little pieces, or worse.”

Why the hell is he pretending to care? He’s not allowed to fool my heart into believing my life matters to him. In light of what he’s probably just discovered, it’s even cruel.

“Don’t pretend you care how I end up, Cameron Anderson. Especially when I know what Wayne just said to you.”

I manage to yank my arm out of his grasp, but I make the mistake of staring up into eyes that are filled with rage. He crowds me, getting in my space, his face too close to mine. In the darkness, his eyes are deep dark, pools of black.

“What is it you think Wayne said to me? One minute I saw you walking off with him and the next you’re storming out the door. Did something happen? Did he touch you?”

The last sentence is a growl, the word touch said with so much disgust that I would yell at him if I wasn’t so relieved Wayne hadn’t said anything to him yet.

But if he doesn’t know, why is he here?

His glare grows, and he crosses his arms. With his jacket off, I see the bulge of his biceps.  

“You are such a damn idiot,” he continues. “Walking off with him alone wearing the equivalent of a hand towel when you know what he wants from you.”

I huff out a laugh, shaking my head as I stare up at him. “You’re just worried about the bet. Trust me, Cam, I didn’t sleep with Wayne. He didn’t touch me. He will never touch me.”

Relief flickers over his features. I decide I need to put a stop to that.

“I told him I knew about the bet.”

Cam’s jaw clenches in response. “I bet he didn’t like that.”

“Oh, he didn’t.”

“And that’s all that was said?”

“No,” I admit. “But you’ll hear about the rest soon enough. Now, go back to the party. Go back to Brooklyn and we can pretend we never had this conversation.”

“If I go back, you’re coming with me.”

“Like hell I am.”

“It’s not safe for you to be out here walking around on your own.”

“Forgive me if I’m a little puzzled as to why you’re pretending to care. Haven’t you spent the past week trying to get rid of me.”

“Make you leave, yes. Get you killed? No.”

Laughter bursts from me. “I suppose that’s why you nearly ran me over.”

His expression is hard. “I was just trying to scare you.”

“Mission accomplished, and I’m not sure I believe you. I’m pretty sure my death would be cause for celebration for you and that monster you’re dating.”

“Brooklyn isn’t a monster.”

I snort. “She bet Wayne that I wouldn’t sleep with him because I’m in love with you.”

“He told you that?”

“Yeah, he told me.”

We stand there watching each other. If we had weapons, I’m pretty sure we’d be circling each other, not trusting the other.

Cameron shakes his head. “I told them they were being stupid. I would have known. You would have told me if…”

“If I was in love with you?”

He nods.

He’s in for a shock when he goes back to that party and hears the truth from Brooklyn and Wayne.

Unless I tell him the truth right now.

The truth will set you free, isn’t that how the saying goes? Why wait for him to find out and come after me when I can get it over with now. Wayne won’t expect it. Better I make this confession on my own terms.

“You’re wrong about that,” I say. “Brooklyn was right. I’ve been in love with you since I was fifteen.’

Cam’s eyes nearly bug out of his head, and he stumbles back as if I’ve hit him.

“You’re lying.”

“Again with calling me a liar. Why would I lie about that?”

“To get back at me.”

“How is telling you I loved you getting back at you?”

He’s shaking his head, as if he can’t believe it, as if he doesn’t want to believe it.

“So why say something now?” He bites out, eyes flashing. “Why not take it to the grave with you?”

“Because Wayne knows. He guessed, and he’s going to tell you and Brooklyn.” At the thought of how Brooklyn is going to react, I want to cover my eyes and hide. Or better yet run. “I wanted to be the one to tell you.”

And now I’m done. Now it’s over. Now that I’ve faced him head on and given him my truth, I hope I can finally let go of the feelings that have persisted and lingered. Inside, I feel a small amount of peace – space where the knowledge was locked up tight. With it gone, there’s calm.

Cam, on the other hand, looks anything but calm or at peace.

“And you don’t think this is something I might have been interested in knowing five years ago?” he shouts. “When you started feeling that way?”

“I wanted to tell you then, but you were with Charmaine, and then Abbi, Claire and then Tara. And then of course, in Year Twelve, there was Lucy and Rahini. I wanted to tell you how I felt, not break up your relationships, Cam.”

“So you lied to me instead? You spent years lying to me, thinking it was okay even though we were supposed to be friends. Best friends.”

Of course he’s going to see it that way. I just told him I loved him, and he doesn’t know what to do with that confession when he hates me so much.

“It wasn’t a lie, Cam. It was an…omission.”

One I wanted to rectify on Prom night but didn’t get a chance to.

“Same shit, different bucket, Kia. You should have told me.”

“What difference would it have made? It might not have changed that day and then we’d still be here.” Only it would be worse. “Anyway, now you know.”

His smile isn’t a smile at all, it’s anger and resentment personified. “Yeah, now I know that I didn’t really know you at all. You were just lying to me the whole time.” He huffs out a breath, shaking his head and laughing in a way which chills me. “To think I actually mourned our friendship when all we had was lies.”

I rub my arms as I watch him walk away, suddenly chilled to the bone. Clearly, he no longer cares about dragging me back indoors with him. Any momentary pang of consciousness and concern he felt is gone. He said he didn’t want me dead, but I half wonder if my confession might have made him change his mind.

Swallowing back the emotion past the lump in my throat, I take out my phone and call the taxi company, pleased I remember the address of the party.

With it being a Saturday night, the estimated wait time is far from surprising. It’s been a terrific night so far, seeing Jo and Evan screwing, having Wayne find me out, and then confessing to Cam. All in all, the perfect way to top off the week from hell.

Episode 10

Jeremy leans on his desk as soon as I sit down opposite him. “You want to tell me what just happened back there?”

“I didn’t take those freebies, Jeremy, I swear.”

He nods. “I believe you, Kia.”

Thank goodness for small mercies. Although he doesn’t look like he’s about to fire me, my boss still doesn’t appear happy.

“You’ve told me about your history with Cameron,” he says, propping his elbows on the desk in front of him. “It’s clear he’s doing his best to make you quit. I knew he’d be unhappy I gave you a job here and that there might be some fallout, but I have to admit I’m slightly concerned over just how far he’s willing to go.”

I smile tightly. There’s no point in denying it was Cam who framed me or that I’m equally concerned. Yesterday, he aimed his car at me, and today he set me up for stealing.

“Me, too,” I admit.

He rubs an index finger across his eyebrow. “We don’t have cameras in the staffroom. I don’t suppose you saw anything?”

“Nothing and I doubt anyone will admit to seeing anything either.”

“If you report the things you do see him do….”

“I know.”

After studying me for a moment, his mouth turns down at the corner. “But you’re not going to, are you?”

I hold his gaze. “The whole time I was at school, Cam protected me. I never learned to stick up for myself. I relied on him, stood behind him. I need to start looking out for myself.”

Jeremy opens his mouth to speak but shakes his head. “Then start looking out for yourself, Kia. I’m worried you’re going to get hurt if you don’t put a stop to this. And I understand your loyalty, but Kia, he’s bullying you.”

He holds his hand up to stop me from jumping in. “He has his reasons, and you’ve made me aware of your history, but you don’t get to be his punching bag just because you screwed up two years ago.”

Jeremy releases a deep sigh and rolls his chair closer to the desk. “I’m going to tell you something. Providing you can keep a secret?”

I nod when his eyes meet mine.

“I screwed up once too. And you can’t take it back. Sometimes the person you hurt won’t forgive you.” He breathes out a frustrated sigh as he runs a hand through his blond hair. “Chloe’s Mum will never forgive me for breaking her heart. She’s never going to give me a second chance. I screwed up. I own that. I accept that. I’ve changed because of it. I’ve stopped messing around. Her dad gave me this job, and many of the other managers hate me because they don’t believe I’ve worked as hard as they did to get this position. Nepotism at its finest, they say. And maybe I have been given a leg up. But whether they’re right or wrong, I’m giving this job my all. I’m trying to change, to get a handle on my life and provide for my daughter. I don’t deserve their crap just because they say I do. Hear me?”

I nod, trying desperately to absorb all the information he’s just given me. He broke someone’s heart, and that person’s father is responsible for Jeremy’s job as manager here. And from the sounds of it, his peers are doing their best to get under his skin the way mine are mine.

Jeremy is studying me closely, waiting for me to respond.

Forcing a smile, I say, “I appreciate you sharing that and essentially looking out for me. But Jeremy, I want to keep you out of my drama with Cam even more now than I did before. The last thing I want is for it to blow up in your face for helping me. As it is, Cam has told me I need to keep you out of it.”

Jeremy’s eyes flicker with irritation. “I’m not going to stay out of it if he continues to bully my employee.”

Damn it. I don’t want the two of them to go to war. I just…I need to stand on my own two feet. This is my chance to protect someone else, to protect Jeremy.

“I’m going to do my best to handle it,” I tell him, “the way you’re doing your best.”

“Promise me you’ll come to me if things get any worse, Kia.” His eyes hold mine. “I mean it. Yesterday you were so frightened that you were shaking. He’s crossing the line, and if he continues to do so, and if he goes after me, it’s going to get really personal. I will fire him if he gives me proof that he’s harassing you.”

“Thank you,” I say quickly. “But hopefully, things will calm down and that won’t be necessary.”

“We’ll see. Do you plan to keep looking for other jobs?”

I nod, feeling guilty for wanting to quit after the way Jeremy has been looking out for me, but I’m sure he understands.

“I’ll keep an eye out for you, too. Not,” he starts, “because I want to see you leave or see Cam think that his bullying is working, but because you don’t deserve to be miserable. I think you’ve been miserable enough these past couple of years. Am I right?”

“Yes.”

“Well, keep your chin up. Now,” he pushes his chair back. “We’d better get out of here before they all start speculating about stupid shit.”

He quirks an eyebrow and shoots me a lopsided grin, and I feel heat burn in my cheeks as my stomach flips. Jeremy is very good looking, and under different circumstances, I might be tempted to flirt with him – he’s so easy to get along with and sweet. But he’s my boss. Plus, he’s hung up on the mother of his child.

At least I’ve got more motivation to get my shit together and keep looking for other jobs. Once I quit, the rumours and the drama will stop, too.

There, I think Riley would be proud. For once I’m thinking about someone else, and it feels bloody good.

I pull down the skirt riding up my thighs as Jo drives us towards the party of the century. Her words, not mine.

After the week of training I’ve just endured, I need to have fun. I need to hang out with people who don’t hate me. The only reason I survived this week was because Jeremy was watching my back. Next week the Diamond Section opens officially, and Jeremy will be focused on that, which means Cam will step up his plans to get me fired.

“You should have turned left there and taken the highway,” Evan tells Jo as we speed past the highway exit.

“No, the freeway is better.”

“This music is shit,” Evan says, reaching for the radio dial.

“Quit touching my stereo, Ev,” Jo says, lightly rapping Evan on the knuckles.

“You know I hate dance music.”

“Tough, I’m the one driving.”

Photo by Wendy Wei from Pexels

Jo and Evan continue to bicker like an old married couple. Once upon a time, Cam and I argued like that – got annoyed at each other affectionately. But, no matter how much Jo and Evan piss each other off, there is an intimacy between them that goes beyond simple friendship. Before the accident, it used to amuse me when Jo and Evan argued, but tonight their bickering makes me feel like a third wheel.

“Would you stop that, please,” Jo says, making eye contact with me in the rearview mirror. “I told you, you look great.”

“It’s too short. I don’t know these people. They’re going to think I’m a slut.”

“Don’t be ridiculous. You haven’t seen short until you’ve hung out with this crowd. Think butt cheeks hanging out of skirts and shorts, and you’ll have some idea of what you’re walking into. Besides, no one says slut these days, slut-shaming is a big no-no.”

“I know that.”

I wouldn’t judge others for what they wear, but does that mean they won’t judge me?

“We’re here,” Jo says as we turn into a well-lit residential street in Patterson’s Cross, a few kilometres from the university.

Once again, I tug at the hem of my skirt as I climb out of the backseat of Jo’s car. I haven’t put on a huge amount of weight in the two years I’ve been gone, but I haven’t been running every day like I used to and have been generally very undisciplined when it comes to exercise. As a result, I have an arse now, where I didn’t before. My boobs are also bigger, and subsequently, my top is tighter. Back in high school, I hadn’t minded wearing tight clothing because I was stick-thin. That isn’t the case now.

“I’m just not sure,” I say to Jo as she locks the car and sees me pulling my skirt down again. “I know you said I look fine-”

“I didn’t say you look fine, Kia; I said you look freaking hot. I know you’re self-conscious about your curves, but they’re going to knock all the guys dead tonight. Right, Ev?”

Underneath the streetlights, Evan shifts uncomfortably, his face turning a smidge red as he looks me up and down. The poor guy always gets embarrassed when put on the spot and asked to tell us we look good.

“You look good, Kia,” Evan tells me.

Jo huffs. “I said, tell her that she looks good, not look at her like you want to eat her.” With that odd outburst, Jo storms towards the two-story weatherboard house. Evan and I shoot each other a quick look before running after Jo. 

She opens the front door without knocking. Considering no one would hear our knock, I don’t think anyone will care. When Jo and Evan step inside, I follow and stop behind them. The scent of alcohol, perfume, deodorant and cigarette smoke clog my lungs, reminding me of so many parties I attended while at high school. Through the gap between Jo and Evan, I see steps leading down to a sunken living area full of people talking and drinking.

“Tell me you aren’t going to walk off and leave me by myself in the corner,” I say breathlessly.

“You aren’t going to be by yourself,” Jo says, looking at me over her shoulder. “There are easily a couple of hundred people here. So pick someone and make conversation.”

I’m about to remind Jo that I’m not good at that sort of thing when I shut my mouth and bite down hard on my tongue. Just how cloying and clingy do I want to sound right now?

“Come on,” Jo says, pointing into the crowd. “I see Natalie over there. She’s one of the coolest people I know.”

I don’t want to feel jealous that Jo has a new group of friends, but envy burns a hole in the pit of my stomach as we force our way through the crowd. Jo has grown up in the two years I’ve been gone. She went to university, found a new group of friends, and she belongs here. Meanwhile, I feel so out of place and unsure of myself that I would glue myself to Jo’s side if I could.

Damn it. I don’t want to be this person, this jealous and insecure girl who clings like a limpet to her friends and suffocates them because she doesn’t know how to have a conversation with a stranger. That was who I was before the accident. I relied on Cam to help me fit in with the crowd because he got along easily with people. He was outgoing, smart, and hot, and…a whole lot of things people gravitate toward. I refuse to make Jo my replacement for Cam. If I want to keep changing, I must keep stepping out of my comfort zone.

So, I’m going to meet Natalie, talk to her without jealousy getting in the way, and then I’m going to speak to anyone who will have a conversation with me. I’ve been to some cool places and seen some interesting things. So, surely, I can think of something to talk about with a stranger. 

“Nat!” Jo squeals, wrapping her arms around a slim girl. 

The slim girl squeals and hugs Jo back.

“This is Kia,” Jo says once the squealing has stopped. 

She steps back, slinging an arm around my shoulders as if she’s proud of me. It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt proud of myself or had anyone else feel that way about me. It warms me through and makes me a little teary.

Nat gasps, her eyes widening as she takes me in. “I’ve heard so much about you! I feel like I know you already.”

As if her words don’t shock me enough, she throws her arms around me and hugs me as if I’m her long-lost best friend. I wouldn’t be surprised if my grin is as goofy as it feels when she lets me go. 

Jo and Nat move onto conversations about college as Evan walks off to mingle with…whoever he knows here. Both Jo and Nat make an effort to include me in the conversation. After a week spent with people who can’t stand me because they’re following Cam’s lead, it’s nice to spend time with people who don’t want to see my head on a stick. 

"I like your hair," I tell Nat when the conversation slows.

She grins, twirling a lock of her shoulder-length blonde hair around her finger - hair that is streaked with blue and pink. "Thanks. My brother had a gender reveal party and asked me to colour my hair. He's having twins, a boy and a girl."

"Congrats!"

"Thanks, I can't wait to be an auntie. Hey, I know a couple of the art students here. Let me introduce you to them.”

Jo nods at me with approval, like a proud mother about to send her small child off to school for the first time. Nat links her arm through mine, chatting to me as we squeeze through the crowd. Because of the noise, I don’t hear everything she says, so I have to ask her to repeat some things, but the conversation between us flows. I’m feeling slightly more relaxed as she introduces me to an interesting looking couple. At least, I assume they're a couple. They stop kissing when Nat clears her throat. The guy is rocking a very long mohawk, and the very voluptuous girl he's with is wearing an adorable black dress with white polka dots. 

“This is Declan and Naomi. Both of them are in the course you’re about to start. Guys, this is Kia. Kia, you should quiz them about the tutors you’ll have this year.”

Nat walks away, and I look at my newest acquaintances. “She’s a great host,” I remark.

Naomi laughs. “This isn’t even her party, but yeah, that’s Nat. She’s great at bringing people together.”

I smile at her and reach for the pendant around my neck, twisting it before letting it go. But, damn it, why does this feel so awkward? I spoke to hundreds of strangers overseas, but there was no pressure to get things right or say the right thing. Seeing a stranger more than once was unlikely.

“So, are you a sculptor or a painter?” Declan asks. 

“I paint and sculpt. I’m more of a painter, though.”

Declan nods, taking a packet of cigarettes out of his pants pocket. “Cool."

Naomi smiles. "What are you working on at the moment?”

“Ah, I haven't been working on much recently. I’d like to pick up a brush right now, though.”

Naomi frowns, a lock of her wavy red hair falling over her forehead. “You find this party inspiring?”

“You could say that.”

“If you had a canvas and brush right now, what would you paint?” Declan asks.

I look around me, seeing chaos and colour. In one corner of the party, people are chanting 'drink' at some guy gulping from a yard glass. In another, a couple of girls are trying to dance. And then I turn towards the front door and freeze as Cam walks in. One of his arms is draped across Brooklyn's shoulders. Wayne is on Brooklyn's other side.

I swallow hard, trying to force my gaze off of them, but my eyes refuse to budge.

Cam looks as gorgeous as ever, wearing a tight khaki button-down shirt on top and dark jeans below. My ex-best friend has never had any difficulty kicking my hormone levels up a notch and making my pulse race, but my racing heart has nothing to do with how sexy he looks and everything to do with the fact that he’s my enemy. After making it his week’s mission to destroy my job at the cinema and destroy me any way he can, he’s turned up at the one place I thought I wouldn’t have to deal with him. Naturally, he scans the place, but thankfully he doesn't see me.

I turn back to Declan and Naomi, who are still waiting for me to answer.

“Colour,” I say, forcing myself to sound confident even though my stomach is twisting in knots. “I’d paint one person in the middle of a crowd, dancing to a whirl of colour, then I’d paint with less colour towards the outer edges.”

Art is subjective. I like my idea, but it probably isn't as sophisticated as it should be. I hate that I’m the same age as this couple, but I don’t have their knowledge base. I've forgotten so much of what I learned in high school. The word imposter might as well be flashing on my forehead. 

Moving the conversation along as quickly as possible, I stumble through several questions about the tutors they had during their first year, trying to concentrate on their answers. Not an easy task when my brain won’t stop reminding me Cam is here and I could run into him at any time.

Naomi reaches out and grabs the cigarette packet Declan has been holding and flipping in one hand. “We’re going for a smoke. Want to join us?”

I’m tempted. The crowd seems to have swelled again since I started talking to Naomi and Declan, and my enemy is here. But if I go outside with these people, I will be indulging my desire to cling to them.

“Thanks, but I’d better find my friends.”

Declan and Naomi leave me standing alone in the crowd, and I look around me for any sign of Jo or Evan or Nat. My pulse picks up when I don't see them. Around me, everyone is having a good time, laughing and talking over the alternative rock music reverberating through the house. Jo would want me to start a conversation with someone, and that's probably what I should do. But my stomach clenches and my palms start sweating at the thought.

Baby steps.

Maybe I’ll just check on where Jo and Evan are so that I can make a quick exit should I run into Cam and Brooklyn.

I push my way through the crowd, searching for my friends. With every minute that passes, my heart speeds up, and I feel like I can’t breathe properly.

Where are they?

There’s only one place I haven’t checked on this level, and that’s the kitchen. When I finally push my way into the slightly less crowded space, I see that Jo and Evan aren’t there. Instead, I've found the three people I desperately wanted to avoid. Cam, Brooklyn and Wayne sit on the bench, ignoring everyone around them and talking with each other. The sudden overload of adrenaline makes me want to puke. I could try to back out slowly, but I only manage one step backwards before a group of people walk in behind me, blocking my exit, pushing me closer to my enemies. 

Wayne sees me first, nudging Brooklyn, and I swallow hard as three sets of eyes burn me where I stand.

Brooklyn studies my outfit and turns her nose up to the ceiling. “Couldn’t you find anything in your wardrobe that actually fits you? Or is your family so hard up these days that you can’t afford new clothes?”

Some girls just know how to hit where it hurts the most, and Brooklyn has always had the skill. Of course, when we were in high school, Cam ran interference and helped me put her in her place. Now, Cam is at Brooklyn’s side, his arm around her like it was they walked in, a beer dangling from the fingers of his other hand.

Cam’s gaze skims over my outfit, making me want to pull my skirt down and run and hide. He’s seen me wear this outfit before, but I would have looked different last time. When his eyes meet mine, they’re dark, his jaw clenched tight, and his grip on Brooklyn tightens. Then he brings his beer to his lips, taking a swig before leaning in to whisper something in Brooklyn’s ear. I have no idea what he says, but they both laugh. Heat sweeps up my neck and face, and I want to die on the spot.

“Shut up, guys. Kia, you look sexy as fuck.”

My eyes cut to Wayne. He’s ogling me in a way he hasn’t since our first day working together at the cinema. Once he realised I wasn’t going to fall for his stupid game, he helped Cam humiliate me repeatedly. So, I’m surprised he’s not echoing Brooklyn’s sentiment.

Brooklyn whips around to glare at her cousin. “Are you fucking serious right now?

Wayne shrugs. “You’re just jealous because you don’t have tits.”

Even if I know Wayne Bishop is about as genuine as a gnat, I have to stifle a smirk when Brooklyn’s eyes widen and her face turns the same shade of red as a fire engine.

“Arsehole,” she growls, shoving him.

He grins and winks at me. “Do you want to dance, Kia?”

I don’t point out to him that hardly anyone is dancing at this overcrowded party. “Actually, I need to find Jo and Evan.”

Wayne drops down from the bench. “Great, I’ll help you look for them.”

Cam’s fingers tighten around the beer bottle, his glare digging holes into the side of my face as Wayne puts his hand on my lower back. Cam and I might not be friends anymore, but I can still read him. He’s doesn’t want me to go with Wayne.

If Cam and I were on better terms, I would tell him I have no intention of losing my virginity to Brooklyn’s cousin. I would tell him I’m going to ditch Wayne as soon as possible. And I would tell Wayne to fuck off. But Cam and I aren’t on better terms. What he’s done to me this past week has been soul-crushing. He said he wouldn’t wish Brooklyn’s cousin on his worst enemy, but Cam has done everything he can to bring me to my knees and break me this week.

In other words, he shouldn’t give a damn whether I let Wayne into my pants or not – unless he has a vested interest in the outcome.

Oh, God. Did Cam throw his money into the betting pool? Is that the real reason he told me about Wayne’s plan to screw me? Was he actually attempting to engineer a win? The Cam of old would never do that. But this Cam? This Cam hates me.

My hand flies to my chest, covering my heart, where it feels as if it’s being diced inside my ribcage. Whenever I think I’ve come to terms with how Cam feels about me, I’m reminded that I still care. I hate that. Will his hold on me never lessen? He damn near tried to kill me this week, yet I’m surprised he might be participating in Wayne and Brooklyn's bet?

Out of the corner of my eye, I see Cam subtly trying to shake his head at me.

I ignore him and look at Wayne. “Okay, thanks.”

Wayne smirks, and I let him lead me out of the kitchen. Likely, Wayne thinks all his Christmases have come at once. He has zero chance of getting me naked, but walking out with him pisses off Cam. Letting my ex-best friend sweat on whether I’m about to have sex with Wayne or not might be childish and vengeful, but after everything Cam has put me through the week, I’ll take any payback I can get. 

Episode 9

On my third day of training, Riley drives me to work. The short trip to my latest hell – Lightning Bay Cinema – is filled with Riley’s heavy rock music, and I believe we might part ways with less than a dozen words said between us until he pulls into one of the outer bays of the car park and lifts the handbrake.

“How are you holding up? All right?”

My hand pauses on the door handle as I turn to look at him.

“Yes, though, it’s a good thing you gave me a lift. If I had a car here, Cam would slash my tyres.”

Or Brooklyn would.

Riley’s lips are a thin line, his eyes hard. “How far do you think he’ll go?”

I’ve asked myself that same question several times over the past couple of days. I’m afraid I’m going to find out exactly how far he will go – and how much he hates me – before this week of training is over.

So far the name of the game he’s playing is humiliation. He knows I’m the quiet type and that I embarrass easily, and he knows that I hate feeling stupid. Subsequently, he makes fun of every question I ask, picks apart every roleplay I perform, and every answer Jeremy calls on me for. And he encourages the entire group to laugh at me with his biting comments.

If it had been anyone else behaving toward me as Cam has so far, it would be awful, but it’s so much worse because it’s Cam. He’s exploiting my weaknesses, using an intimate knowledge of what hurts me the most to twist the knife as deep as it will go. The past two evenings I’ve left work feeling like the shit someone walked into the new carpet at the cinema.

Things are only going to get worse. Cam won’t quit messing with me until I leave.

Climbing out of the car, I shut the door and lean my forearms on the open passenger window. “I don’t know, but I’m not quitting. No matter how hard it gets. I’m not running away. I’m not escaping this time.”

“Kia,” Riley starts. “I’m-”

“Don’t say you’re sorry, Riley. You were right about me. I mean, the bit where you said I was like Dad. It’s why I’m here.”

He frowns. “I wasn’t going to say sorry. I was simply going to say that if you need me, I’m here. If you need to talk, or if you need the shit kicked out of someone, you just need to say the word.”

I offer my brother a small smile. He’s hard-arse in a way he never was before I left. I hate that he’s turned into this version of himself in order to deal with everything that’s happened to our family. But we do what we must in order to survive. I chose to run while Riley chose to stay, and he got tougher because he did. Now, it’s my turn to toughen up.

“I appreciate the offer,” I tell him. “But I don’t want you beating up anyone for me.”

His mouth kicks up at the corner. “I’d enjoy it.”

“Who are you?” I ask, only half-joking. “Where did my sweet brother go?”

For the first time since he showed up at the airport alongside Dillon and my mother to welcome me home, he offers me a real smile. It’s a smile that reminds me of the brother I would talk with every night before I left town. Before my whole family had their life turned upside down because of me.

“He’s long gone, Kia. Sweetness is weakness. I’m not weak anymore. I’m a survivor. A fighter.”

There’s something in his voice that makes me study him. He’s so much stronger than before I went away. His muscles are much bigger than they used to be. He’s working out seriously. I thought he’d put on muscle just from working at the garage, but what if that’s not the entire reason he’s so much stronger than he was?

“Riley, you aren’t, like, actually fighting, are you?”

Thoughts of the types of underground MMA matches I read about in my books suddenly fly through my head.

“I have my work, my family, and my band. You really think I need anything more than that?”

“That’s not a no.”

His grin grows. “The guys at the garage know how to throw down and they’ve taught me a thing or two. If it comes to it, we’ll all be there for you. They’re my family and I’m yours. Family stick together, Kia. Don’t forget that. Dad turned his back on us, but we still have each other.”

See, Cam and Riley are so alike. Riley has made the Andersons the enemy in the same way Cam and Addie have made me out to be their enemy. Pointing that out to my brother, however, won’t change his feelings toward Cam. Nor will it mend the strained relationship Riley and I have shared since I arrived home.

“I appreciate it, Riles.”

Riley nods. “Don’t let him get to you, Kia.”

With that, Riley drives off, leaving me aware he never told me that he’s not fighting.

I sigh and look at the cinema in front of me. I’ll worry about Riley later. Right now, getting through another day of training is my priority.

Just as I begin walking across the pedestrian crossing in front of the cinema, I turn my head in the direction of the car that’s driving into the lot. I’d know the blue Ford anywhere. From this far away, I can’t see Cam’s face, but I certainly hear him gun the engine. I freeze where I stand as he starts speeding towards me. As if I’m stuck in a nightmare, I want to move but my feet seem to be glued to the tar beneath them. I’ve merged and become one with the road.

Perhaps I have a death wish and that’s why I can’t move. Either that or I’m stupid enough to test whether he’ll stop.

He doesn’t.

When his determined expression finally fills my vision, I’m jarred out of my dream-like state. Realising he has no intention of slamming his foot on the brakes, I dive out of the way. It’s not until I’m tumbling to my knees in front of the cinema, breathless, that I realise my heart is beating too hard. I blink, seeing stars flash behind my eyes, explosions of colour which terrify me. My blood is rushing too fast, and I can’t hear anything except the low silent hum of my body getting ready to pass out.

Panic. This is just panic. Just the blood rushing through my veins too fast.

Except it’s not just that. I know Cam hates me. I know he hates the fact I’ve come back to Lightning Bay. But I never really believed he wanted me dead. If I hadn’t moved, would he have hit me at that speed? He could have killed me or given me brain damage. Or both.

My lungs feel like they’re giving up on me. I can’t breathe. I wanted answers to just how far Cam would go to get me fired or to drive me to quit, and I’m afraid I can’t handle the answer to my own question.

“Kia?”

I can’t see him, but I’m grateful when I hear Jeremy’s voice. He’s the only person who has been nice to me these past couple of days. Everyone else seems to have fallen under the spell of hatred Cam continues to weave around me at every opportunity.

Jeremy puts his hand on my arm, his touch warm and reassuring. My vision is still so blurry, I can’t see where I am or where I’m going, I just know I’m being guided up steps, and then finally I’m sitting.

“You’re having a panic attack,” Jeremy says. “Tuck your head between your knees.”

I feel his hand on my back, the pressure of his hand soft and gentle as I do as he says.

“What happened?” he asks.

I can’t reply. My mind is going back over every interaction I’ve had with Cam since I returned to Lightning Bay. Cam wants to hurt me, and he doesn’t just care about inflicting emotional pain. He’ll settle for physical if it means he gets results. 

As my breathing returns to normal and spots stop dancing in front of my eyes, the soft hum in my ears becomes quieter. I take a deep breath and look around me. We're in Jeremy's office, and he’s kneeling in front of me, studying me intently, eyes narrowed, brows pulled down. When he puts his hand on my shoulder and squeezes gently, I’m worried I might cry. There’s something about kindness and compassion when you most need it that threatens to make you bawl when you really don’t want to. It’s on the tip of my tongue to tell him everything, to tell him that Cam nearly ran me over. Yet I stop, unable to speak the words. I want to tell him, but I just can’t.

Cam needs this job as much as I do. Perhaps that’s something I shouldn’t care about considering his front bumper nearly acquainted itself with my body. But the reason he needs this job is because of his father. And why is Cam’s father the way he is? Me. My presence and my actions two years ago are a large part of the reason his father’s mental health is suffering. I can't throw Cam under the bus, as much as I really want to right now.

Besides, even though Cam is my enemy and he just upped the game in a way I never imagined he would, he still warned me about Wayne and Brooklyn’s bet. What was it he said? “You’re expecting me to try and tear you down. You’re not expecting it from him. It wouldn’t have been fair.”

Bringing Jeremy into my war with Cam makes me cowardly. For so long, I looked to others for protection and help, allowing others to shield me. I’ve been weak. I desperately want someone to protect me from Cam, but cowering from this fight means I haven’t changed at all. I can’t drag anyone else into it. I want to save myself this time; I need to.

“I think it just all caught up on me at once,” I say, offering my boss a weak smile. “Being back in Lightning Bay. Working with Cam.”

Jeremy purses his lips. I’m not sure he believes me. If our positions were reversed, I’m not sure I’d believe me either.

“Are you sure about that?”

“Yes. Thank you for helping me, but I’m okay now. Work is about to start so I better get to my locker.”

“Okay.”

He sighs and pushes himself to his feet.

Carefully, I stand, trying not to wince at the pain in my knees. “Thanks for everything, Jeremy.”

“Kia,” he calls before I can open his office door.

I turn to face him, my stomach dropping when I see his ultra-serious expression. “Take care out there.”

I nod before opening the door and walking out.

A second later, Cam appears, blocking my path to the staffroom. I don’t know what to say to him as I stare up at him. His nostrils flare and his lips are flat. Eyes that were once so kind and full of warmth and affection are now cold and hard. This guy, the person I was once closest to, just tried to run me over. I don't even know how to deal with that right now. The adrenaline that surged when Cam came gunning for me has left my bloodstream and I feel cold and shaky. 

He sneers. “Did you run and tattle to the boss-man?”

I glare up at him. “No.”

He scoffs, clearly not believing me. 

When I go to walk past him, he blocks me again. “Liar.”

“You've called me a lot of things, but I'm not a liar.”

“Neither am I. Quit Saskia. Quit, and I’ll ignore your presence in Lightning Bay.”

Does he really think nearly running me over will make me leave? Of course, he does, because I’ve never been the person who swings back at an opponent. Cam wants to break me - to chase me out of town. It worked last time, so he thinks frightening me and being horrid will be enough this time. Well, I might not be the person I want to be, but I’m working on it.

I stand up straighter, imagining a steel rod filling my spine as I hold his gaze. “I’m not quitting. I told you that I need this job.”

He shakes his head, crossing his arms, his mouth a tight line. “Quit, or I’ll make your life harder.”

I scoff and mimic him, crossing my arms. “You already tried to run me over.”

The cruel smile on his lips twists the tender and vulnerable organ beneath my ribcage.

“And yet here you are, still well and truly alive.”

“No thanks to you.”

He loses the smile altogether. “My mother and sister? They’re dead, and that is thanks to you.”

Brooklyn chooses that moment to join us, looping her hands around Cameron’s neck, smiling at me like she wishes she’d been the one to aim her car at me.

“Pity he missed you, huh?”

I feel sick as the two of them stand there, staring me down with rage in their eyes, but I want to think the desire to vomit isn’t from jealousy this time. Rather, it’s from the anger I feel. The rage.

Funny how once upon a time I used to take my strength from Cam. Now he’s again inspiring me to become stronger. His hatred and anger - his determination to see me crumble – are feeding my need to fight. Survival is a powerful motivator. While I didn't come here with any desire to tear Cam apart or hurt him – I don’t even want to hate him – I do want to stay alive. If that means swinging back at him in my own way, I will.

Photo by Ivan Samkov from Pexels

The next morning, I walk into work with my head held high. Fake it till you make it, that’s what they say. I spent last night brainstorming ways to make Cam back down or back off. Unfortunately, I didn’t come up with anything so I’m doing the only thing I can do this morning, pretending I’m stronger than I am.

“Did you hear?” one of the girls at the candy bar whispers loudly to her co-worker as I walk past. “She’s full-on hooking up with Jeremy Rawson.”

My stomach knots and an angry flush heats my skin as I try not to break into a sprint to my locker. I nearly sigh with relief when I get to the staff room, but my reprieve doesn't last long. Emily Watts is having a loud conversation with a guy and a girl next to her locker.

“Did you know she killed Cam’s sister and mother?” Emily declares loudly.

“How can Jeremy let her work here?”

“Because she’s hooking up with him, as I said.”

“Doesn’t he have a girlfriend? A baby?”

Emily stares at me while addressing the girl who asked the question. “Someone who kills her best friend’s sister and mother hardly has a care about wrecking someone’s family, Valerie.”

I shove my things in my locker, not caring how much noise I make. One guess who started the rumour.

Cam knows how much I hate being the centre of attention. But this rumour isn’t just about me. I thought Cam wanted to keep other people out of our war. I thought he had some sort of moral code he was employing – some rules. Clearly, I was deluding myself about that, too. This doesn’t just affect me, it affects someone else, and the anger I’ve been holding onto since Cam sped towards me yesterday threatens to take me over.

The entire morning, I do my best to ignore the way the other trainees stare at me, point at me, or look at me with disdain. My face is too hot, though, and even though I try to tell myself it’s because I’m angry, I’m also crazy-embarrassed. Every time Jeremy tries to meet my eyes during training, I can’t look at him. I don’t know if he knows what everyone is saying about me – about us – but if he doesn’t yet, he will soon enough.

By the time Jeremy dismisses us for lunch, I have no appetite, but because I don’t want to give Cam any indication he’s getting to me, I walk into the staff room to retrieve my purse from my locker.

Cam sits at the lunch table, surrounded by other trainees, and some of the other staff that are on a break. He looks up briefly when I walk in and then goes back to talking.

My relief that he’s ignoring me lasts only until I reach the space where my locker is. Or should I say, where my locker was?

That’s right. It’s gone. Just completely gone, like it’s walked itself out of the staffroom. My purse, my bag, my lunch - all gone.

Whirling around, I take in the table of people who are now watching me and failing at muffling their laughter.

“Where’s my stuff, Cam?” I ask, walking up to the table, refusing to be intimidated by his mocking and cruel gaze and twisted smile.

He sits back, throws the chip he was holding onto his plate and smirks up at me. “I don’t know what you’re talking about.”

“Don’t play games. It’s bad enough you tried to run me over yesterday, now you’re stealing my stuff? My locker?”

“Don’t be such a drama queen, Saskia. Tried to run you over? I can’t help it if you were standing in my way when I was driving into the car park.”

“Yeah right. Where’s my locker, Cameron?”

“I don’t know.” He shrugs. “Perhaps Jeremy took it somewhere.”

“Why would he do that?”

“You’ll have to ask him.” He loses his smirk and glares at me. “You two are on such good…terms now.”

The entire table snicker in response.

“Whatever this is between us-”

“There’s nothing between us! You made sure of that, Saskia.”

“That’s right,” I say, heat scorching my throat and face. “I made sure of it. So, don’t bring anyone else into this.”

“Then you leave him out of it.”

“I am leaving him out of it.”

Cam raises an eyebrow. “Didn’t look like it to me.”

“He was helping me.”

“Ah,” he nods, smiling unkindly. “You’re still getting people to fight your battles for you.”

“I don’t want to, and I’m doing my best to avoid it, but you make it impossible not to bring him into it when you do stuff like this.”

“I don’t know what you’re talking about. If you’re implying that I somehow walked out of here with a locker in front of all these people…” He looks around the table, frowning. “Any of you see me moving a locker?”

All of them grin and shake their heads.

I glare at him, shaking my head before I leave them to their laughter. Outside the staff room, I pause for a moment before going back to the meeting room where we undertake training. Jeremy is pouring over his notes, and I want to walk away and leave him to it. After the rumours I’ve heard circulating, I really shouldn’t involve him, but the locker belongs to the cinema, and even if I don’t mention Cam is responsible, I need to tell him my locker is missing.

“Jeremy?” I knock on the door.

Looking up from his notes, he smiles when he sees me. Then he sees my expression and his smile slips.

“What’s wrong, Kia?”

“My locker is missing from the staff room.”

His frown is instant and he strides towards me. “What do you mean it’s missing?”

Looking up into his kind but perplexed eyes, I shake my head. “I know it sounds crazy, and I don’t know how it happened, but it’s gone.” I make a move with my hands. “Vanished into thin air.”

Without a word, Jeremy drops his notes on the large conference table and heads for the staffroom, leaving me to follow him. The knot in my stomach grows tighter with every step that takes us closer. As we enter the staffroom, everyone looks up from their seats around the table. Jeremy’s gaze flicks from person to person before he pins Cameron with his glare. When Cam’s angry gaze swings around to silently accuse me, I wish I could go back in time and deal with this myself.

And that feeling only gets stronger when I look to the spot where my locker should be and find that it is there now.

“Kia?” Jeremy asks, walking over to my locker. “Are you sure…?”

My face feels as if it’s on fire as Jeremy watches me. Once again, I feel stupid and humiliated. “I swear my locker wasn’t there a few minutes ago.”

Jeremey looks over to the crowded lunch table. “Did any of you happen to see someone walk a locker in or out of here?”

“Saskia already asked us,” Wayne says. “We told her we didn’t see anything. And as you can see, it’s still there.”

“We think she might be delusional,” someone says.

“Always has been,” Cam chimes in, crossing his arms and smirking in my direction.

The rest of them shake their head as Jeremy looks at each of them.

“I’m pretty sure we would have seen something like that,” Billy, another trainee, says.

Jeremy looks at me again, studying me carefully before turning his attention back to the locker. “Open it, Kia. You better check that everything is in there.”

I let out a breath I wasn’t even aware I was holding. He believes me. Of course, the fact he does probably paints a bigger target on my back and makes the rumours Cam has been spreading about me and Jeremy appear more valid. Still, I can’t help but be relieved Jeremy doesn’t think I’m insane.

Jeremy nods when I look at him, and I reach out and put my hand over the combination lock, expelling a shaky breath. I can feel the eyes of everyone at the table on me and as I flick the numbers into place. The moment the lock gives way, I know that something isn’t right.

Before I have time to acknowledge my hunch, Jeremy grabs my locker door and swings it open, causing hundreds – and I do mean hundreds – of coupons and freebies to fall onto the floor.

“Oh no, Sir,” Wayne moans loudly. “She’s been stealing.”

“I hope she doesn’t get special treatment because of…well, you know,” a girl I don’t recognise says.

Jeremy looks at me. I don’t know what he sees when he looks at me because his expression is unreadable. “Kia, I think you better come to my office so you can explain.”

“Someone is about to get spanked,” Wayne calls out, making everyone laugh.

“Of course, he wants her to cum to his office.”

Jeremy walks out of the office, and I cast one look at Cam, who isn’t smiling. He doesn’t look as satisfied or smug as I thought he would, just determined. He warned me that there isn’t anything he won’t do to get rid of me.

Has he already succeeded in getting me fired?

Episode 8

Walking into the Lightning Bay Cinema, I freeze when I see Kia in her business skirt and jacket, nervously fidgeting with the strap of her backpack. The familiar action takes me back to the first time we met. Nathan Kilkenny saw her in line on her first day of high school and started mouthing off, giving her a hard time. I felt compelled to act, to protect the girl who looked terrified.

I ignore my conscience. I warned Saskia about what would happen if she took this job. She knows I intend to make her life hell. Yet here she is, standing on the bottom level of the cinema outside the meeting room, ready to start our first day of training.

"I can't believe she actually came," Brooklyn says, sliding her hand into mine. "Stupid bitch."

Years of defending Saskia mean that my first impulse is to come to her defence and tell Brooklyn to shut it. But after the part Saskia played in the death of my sister and mother, I can't take her side.

That night, she chose her family. After that night, I chose mine. Now we're enemies.

It doesn't matter that her absence in my life has left me with a giant gaping hole in my chest. And it doesn't matter that memories of our years as friends do their best to haunt me at regular intervals. It doesn't matter that I miss her like crazy. My family has asked for my loyalty, and now I willingly give it. Her arrival only makes me miss her all the more, and I hate that.

"We'll get rid of her by any means necessary," Brooklyn says.

"I can handle it, Brooke."

Her smile is broad, and her dark eyes sparkle with promise and mischief when I glance at my girlfriend. Dressed in her work uniform – a silver and black skirt, black tights and a black vest that shows off her cleavage to perfection – she looks hot. Then again, she always looks hot. She's every man's fantasy, and I can't deny the past six months have been fun. Lately, though, she's been dropping hints she wants more. Something I have no interest in after witnessing the tragic end of my parent's relationship.

"I know you can handle it, but I want to help you. We all do. We have your back."

"Thanks, but I don't need the help. This is personal," I remind Brooklyn. "I'm the one who deserves the honour."

Hopefully, the grin I attempt looks cruel enough to cover up the doubts I felt about my ability to deliver on the threats I made.

"She knows we're going to be gunning for her," Brooklyn says. "She'll expect it. I don't know who she thinks she is, coming in here and pretending like she has the right to be here."

"Just leave it, Brooke. Leave it to me. I'll handle it."

She pouts those lips at me in typical Brooklyn fashion. "I'm just trying to help, babe."

"I know." I wrap my arms around her. "That's why you're my girl, but I can do this on my own. I want to do this on my own."

Typically, I'd be moved by her cute pout, but I'm not backing down on this. Saskia might be my enemy, but she doesn't need to be on anyone else's hit-list. The people in this town have a way of taking things too far.

My gut clenches as I remember the look on Kia's face after Wayne – Brooklyn's cousin – threw a jellyfish at her. Pelting her with that thing may have been funny to him, but the fact she'd been physically hurt by that idiot hadn't been funny to me. It took every bit of my willpower to keep smirking and pretend I didn't care that someone had taken a shot at her and dropped her to her knees.

And not berating Wayne for being a giant tool had taken even more willpower. Brooklyn asked me to take him under my wing after he moved to town, but I'm struggling with that since he has no redeeming qualities. And now he has a job working with me in the Diamond section, thanks to Brooklyn. He's going to fuck up, and then she'll insist I cover for him.

"Cam. Brooklyn."

I turn around to see Wayne walking up behind us. Great. Think of Brooklyn's moronic cousin, and he appears.

Wayne puts an arm around both of our shoulders, inserting himself between us. "What's happening, kids?"

Brooklyn nods in Kia's direction. "Just debating how to get rid of the enemy."

As though she heard us, Kia turns and looks right at us. When her gaze collides with mine, I see the sadness and pain in her eyes – recognise it as the same mix of emotions I keep squashed deep down inside of me, locked up and hidden away. But after a second she stands straighter and glares back at me without blinking.

It's a decent attempt at convincing me I don't scare her, but I know better.

Wayne follows our vision line and looks at Kia, his eyes sweeping up and down her slender frame. "Don't give it a second thought. I'll take care of this one."

My gut twists itself into a knot. Addie and Brooklyn both have been in his ear, drilling into him that Kia is the enemy. They've encouraged him to get involved, but his involvement is the last thing I want.

I shrug off his arm. "I told Brooke I want to do this by myself."

"No way, man," Wayne says. "You don't need to go near her. I'll have her quit before we've even finished training."

Brooklyn raises her brow. "And just how will you manage that?"

Wayne's wink makes me want to punch him in the face. "You know I have a way with the ladies, Lyn. The classic fuck 'em and dump 'em should do the trick."

My hands curl into fists, ready to be thrown. It's official. Wayne is the biggest piece of shit I've ever met.

I expect to see Brooklyn look delighted, and I'm working out how the hell I'm going to stop this train wreck from happening when Brooklyn comes to my rescue.

"Sorry, cuz, but you have no chance in hell of making that happen."

"Why not? I'm irresistible."

Wayne Bishop is more arrogant than he has any right to be. He isn't an ugly son of a bitch, but he's also not the chick magnet he makes himself out to be.

"Because Saskia has been hung up on Cam ever since, well, forever," Brooklyn says with a smug smirk in my direction.

I roll my eyes. "Not this again, Brooke.

How many times have I told her Kia was never hung up on me? It's got to be close to a hundred times. Kia and I might not be friends anymore, but at one stage we told each other everything. If she'd had a thing for me, she would have said something because honesty was so important to each of us.

"If that was the case, Cam would have screwed her when they were friends, right Cam?" Wayne asks.

"Not a chance in hell."

Brooklyn puts her arms around my waist and looks up at me. "Cam was never interested, right?"

I let Brooklyn believe that, and in part, it's the truth. Really, I was never interested in putting my friendship with Kia at risk when she meant so much to me. There were plenty of girls that wanted to get naked with me, but only one Kia. That said, I didn't exactly miss how beautiful my best friend was. It's the number one reason why Brooklyn targeted her in high school. Brooklyn's mean to anyone she perceives to be a threat to her crown as Lightning Bay's reigning queen.

"I'll bet you a thousand bucks that Saskia is still a virgin," Brooklyn wages, her smirk growing. "I'll bet you she's held onto it for Cam in the hopes he'll forgive her and deflower her."

I shake her off me. "You're ridiculous, Brooke."

The idea that Kia has a thing for me is so damn absurd, especially after everything that's happened, including the way I've treated her of late. But the idea she would hold onto her virginity for me – that is…unfathomable.

Looking at Saskia now, I can't believe she's untouched. My eyes track over her hips, breasts and thighs – curves that are more developed than they had been two years ago. She was so skinny back in high school, but she's filled out now. I always liked her long bleached-blonde hair, but the short light brown hair cut in waves around her attractive face suit her and made her look sophisticated and sexy. She's blessed with naturally full pink lips that don't need lipstick for enhancement, and her hazel eyes are magnetic. If she really is a virgin…

Heat sweeps through me at the thought, heat that settles low in my belly and pulses thickly – heat I have no right to feel. I grab the front of my shirt and pull it away from my chest, desperate to cool down. Goosebumps break out all over my body, but the heat is still there as I imagine myself between her thighs, easing myself inside her. She'd be so tight it would be hell trying to go slow, but-

What the fuck are you thinking?

I shut my eyes and mentally shove the picture of us together out of my head as quickly as I can. Still, I'm uncomfortably hard, and there's a chance – considering where we are – that anyone can see, including my girlfriend. Quickly, I drop my hand to the front of my trousers in an attempt to hide my erection, then I try thinking of people and things that will kill my mood.

The conversation I had with Addie a day ago does the trick.

“You have to make her leave, Cam. I can’t bear to see the bitch who killed my family every time I want to go to the movies.”

“I’m working on it, but she’ll be in the Diamond section. You don’t have to go up there.”

“So what? I’m supposed to…to avoid going up there because of her! How can you say that? She doesn’t belong here, and she never did. The entire Berry family - they’re trash. And you brought them into our lives and contaminated everything. If you’d never been friends with her, Mum never would have-”

“Don’t go there, Addie. We don’t know that.”

“You’re defending her! She’s to blame, don’t you see? Dad’s back to drinking a bottle a night again and it’s all because she came back. Please, I’m begging you, make it stop.”

Since the accident, any mention of Kia triggers my sister. The day Kia and my sister come face to face again, I have concerns things may turn physical. And that might happen sooner than later if I can't get Kia to quit. Addie also made a good point about Dad. It's why I applied for the job at Lightning Bay Cinema. For those times when my dad is on a bender, I need to be able to get to my father faster than I can from Patterson's Cross.

This is why Kia is my enemy.

And why I can't indulge in ridiculous sexual fantasies about my ex-best-friend.

"You have yourself a bet," Wayne says, shaking Brooke's hand. "I'll be able to tell you soon enough whether she's a virgin or not."

Before he pushes past us, I grab his shoulder, digging my fingers in more than I need to. When Wayne looks at me, I shake my head.

"I want to be the one to make her leave."

"Chill out, man," Wayne says, reaching up and prying my fingers from his shoulder. "You can still have your fun getting rid of her, but Brooke and I have a bet now. I have to find out if that girl is a virgin."

Before I know it, he's pushed his way between us and is now walking towards her. Well, this is a shit-storm and a half. I guessed Wayne would want to fuck with Kia, but I never imagined he'd literally try to fuck her.

I hate Wayne for putting me in this position. The last thing I want to do is step in because I'm supposed to hate Saskia Berry. Tolerating her presence will put my father in danger of losing the plot completely, and my sister in danger of returning to her self-destructive ways. But there are some things I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy, and being subject of a bet like this is definitely one of them. Forcing Kia out of a job is one thing. Having sex with her to win one thousand dollars is another.

"Wayne," I call out through gritted teeth, ready to tackle him to the floor.

"I have to get to work," Brooklyn says, throwing her arms around my neck and kissing me hard on the lips, forcing me to either shut up or shake her off again.

"Forget Saskia and Wayne," she whispers when she pulls away to look at me, running her hand through my hair. "I have better things for you to think about – like the special something I have planned for you tonight."

A few minutes ago that might have sounded like heaven, but right now I'm too worried about what Wayne will say to Kia to care about getting lucky tonight.

"You have to get to work, and I have to start training," I say, looking over the top of her head at Saskia.

Clearly put out by my dismissal, Brooklyn unwinds her hands from around my neck and huffs. Undoubtedly, she wants me to apologise and smooth her ruffled feathers. Still, I'm too busy watching Wayne interact with Kia to respond. When Wayne holds out a hand, Kia looks down at it and studies it. For a second, I don't think she's going to shake it. Then Wayne says something that makes her look over at me, and as our gazes lock, my breath gets caught. Does she think I sent Wayne over there? I hope so. The easiest way to make sure Wayne never touches her is to let Kia believe I'm using him to get to her.

Some of the tension leaves my shoulders at the thought, but then Wayne puts his arm around Kia's shoulders and whispers something in her ear. Kia looks from Wayne to me, a frown on her face, and she may as well have ploughed a fist into my gut. There's no way I can rely on her wariness of me to protect her, meaning I'm going to have to warn her.

Fuck.

Photo from Pexels

"The Diamond section is where people come to have an alternative movie-going experience. We expect employees to deliver exceptional customer service, and every step should be taken to make our customers feel like the closest thing to royalty."

The induction video drags on and on. My knee hasn't stopped bouncing since I sat down, and Jeremy keeps frowning over at me. My gaze flits around the large oval table we're sitting at, myself and the nine other trainees. When my eyes stop on Kia and then Wayne, Brooklyn's cousin shoots me a smug look. Kia, on the other hand, is doing a damn good job of ignoring my stare.

I need to approach her, but I can't until this infernal video about quality service and the importance of good posture quit bloating the darkened meeting room. I don't even realise I'm drumming my pen on the table until Jeremy walks over to me and plucks the pen from my fingers, staring down at me with a pinched expression. It's like being back in class again, and he's the teacher who's upset with me for disrupting the course. Except that the guy doesn't even look old enough to be a teacher.

Word on the street is that Jeremy Rawson acquired this job through his girlfriend's father. I guess that explains why he's so young—nepotism at its best.

"Okay," Rawson says once the video finally ends. "We're going to do a roleplay. You can work with the person seated next to you."

Wayne's gleeful look makes me want to flip the table between us knock him out.

"I'll give each pair a scenario to learn and act out. You'll have twenty minutes to learn the script, and then you'll perform your act in front of the group. I'll be asking you to fill in a questionnaire for each script to see how much information you retained from the induction video. Do you have any questions?"

My hand shoots up. Yep, this is definitely like being back in school.

Rawson looks at me. "Anderson?"

"Shouldn't we get the chance to mingle? Pick someone we're not sitting next to?"

Rawson looks uncertain for a moment but then nods. "Okay, I guess that's a good idea."

When I look back at Kia, she's glaring at me. She isn't the only one, either. If looks could kill, Wayne would have just sent me six feet under. I shrug back at him. I told him I wanted to be the one to get rid of Kia.

"Everyone, please stand up and pick someone you're not sitting next to. Once everyone is partnered, I'll hand out the scripts."

The moment Kia stands up, I jump out of my chair. Before Wayne has the chance to talk her into being his partner, I grab her by the arm and pull her towards the back of the room.

"Cameron!" she hisses once I let her go. "What are you doing?"

I glare down at her. "We're going to be partners this morning."

She lets out a short laugh. "Like hell, we are. Do you think I'd make things that easy for you? You're trying to get me fired for Pete's sake."

"Not right this second, I'm not. Besides, making you look bad is only going to make me look bad if we're partners, don't you think? Let's get the script from Jeremy and then we can talk."

She glares at me. "You don't want to talk to me, and I don't want to talk to you. No way are we going to be partners."

"Fine," I whisper-hiss at her. "Suit yourself. Work with someone else. Whatever. I just wanted to save you from being Bishop's partner."

"Bishop?"

"That's Brooklyn's cousin," I whisper, nodding towards Wayne. "He's the one who threw the jellyfish at you."

I wait for that information to sink in.

"He's had my sister and his cousin in his ear about you, telling him all your good qualities."

Her eyes widen, and then she looks back at Wayne.

"I'm not telling you to avoid him," I tell her. "Just…just be careful, Kia."

She crosses her arms and looks back at me. "You're warning me?"

Her raised voice is attracting the attention of those around us.

I keep my voice low and hard. "I wouldn't be if I thought you could handle yourself around that dick, but you don't know what he's capable of."

"I never knew what you were capable of either," she says.

Her words sound bitter and angry, but underneath I catch the hurt. I see a glimpse of it too before she wrenches her hazel eyes from mine. When her gaze returns to mine, I see the same resolve I saw earlier. Her eyes are icy as she steps away, putting some distance between us.

The emotions I witness in her every time I see her always affect me. Usually, I work past the grief and guilt I feel by reminding myself of the pain my family will experience if they think I'm taking Kia's side. And I'm usually so busy pushing her away from me that she never gets close enough to make me drop my shield. Today, however, I'm having a little more trouble than usual holding onto the suit of hatred, resentment and loyalty I thought I'd mastered.

She shakes her head. "Thanks, but I can take care of myself."

I grab her shoulder before she can walk away from me, pulling her in close so I can talk to her without anyone hearing me. So close, in fact, that I hear her breath hitch. My eyes hold hers for a second, her hazel depths filled with something I've never seen – something I have no idea how to interpret. She's breathing hard, drawing my gaze is down to where her breasts are nearly touching my chest. They look full enough to fill my palms. What would they look like? What would they taste like?

I release her abruptly and step back. While Kia and I were friends, I was on guard against my hormonal brain. And then after the accident, my feelings toward her revolved around anger and hatred as I worked hard to make sure my family didn't break down entirely. But today my guard has slipped, and my resulting thoughts and reactions are…unacceptable.

"Brooke and Wayne have a bet going," I tell her, my voice hoarser than it should be. "One thousand bucks you're a virgin."

She gasps. "That's just…Brooklyn has always been cruel, but I never thought she'd resort to this to make me leave."

"It's Wayne too, and he was the one who instigated it."

Her brows draw together, and her mouth tilts down. "Why are you warning me?"

I look at Wayne before I look back at her. "Some people I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy."

"Brooklyn is your girlfriend. Why aren't you standing back and rooting for her to win?"

If Brooklyn is right, then that means Kia does have a thing for me. I can't handle the thought. It messes with my head, and as soon as this conversation is over, I'm going to avoid the topic like the plague.

"The bet was Wayne's idea, not Brooke's," I say. "But it's a dumb-arse bet to begin with."

She glares at me. "Something we can agree on."

"Are you two okay over here?" Rawson asks, walking towards us, script in hand. "Kia?"

The concern in Rawson's expression as he studies her makes me want to drop him. It also doesn't escape my attention that he called her Kia rather than Saskia. He's her boss, so he shouldn't act so familiar with her. No matter how young the dude is, he's not her friend.

"I'm fine," Kia says, giving Rawson a soft and reassuring smile that makes me plain dislike the guy. "We were just discussing the need for different partners."

I want a different partner as much as she does. Looking around the room, however, I see that everyone is already paired up, including Wayne, who is glaring daggers at me.

"Sorry, Kia. You and Anderson are the last pair. Here's your script," Rawson says, passing Kia a piece of paper as he shoots me a look filled with warning. "You've got fifteen minutes to learn it. Be ready."

Kia throws her hands up in the air as Rawson walks away. "Great, now we're stuck with each other."

"Looks that way. Trust me, I don't like it any more than you do. Let's just get through it and then we can steer clear of each other."

"You mean, then you can stick to trying to get rid of me?" she asks.

I shrug, doing my best to hide the guilt twisting through me. "I warned you, Saskia."

"You know, you could have just let Wayne screw me and gotten it over and done with."

Her voice is so thick with emotion that it wraps itself around my heart and squeezes.

"Maybe," I say, "but I couldn't. You're expecting me to try and tear you down. You're not expecting it from him. It wouldn't have been fair."

"You don't care about fair when it comes to me, Cameron. Not since that night. So don't start pretending to care about me now."

I deserve that, but her words still slice through the armour I'm trying so damn hard to hold onto.

See, this is precisely why I can't work with her. She slips under my guard too quickly when I'm not trying to push her away from me with acidic and hateful words.

"You're right," I say. "I should have kept my mouth shut. You're the enemy."

The cut look she gives me twists my insides further.

"Just so you know, Cameron. You're my enemy, too."

I nod despite the sharp prick to the heart her words cause me. Once upon a time, I would have done anything for this girl, and she would look at me as if I was her knight in shining armour. Even though this new dynamic must be permanent, hearing her tell me I'm her enemy, makes me feel like I can't breathe properly. She can't stay. If she does, she might tear down my defences. And then my family will fall apart all over again.

I look at the script in her hands. "Glad to hear it. Now, let's get this over with."

She slips her guard into place once more, her eyes growing cool and her demeanour icy. I watch her scan the script while I do my best to put my guard in place. Then I scan the paper, too. With us both on guard, it will be better, safer. I can't afford to let my guard down with her again.

And I won't.

Episode 7

Jo lets the grains of sand she’d been holding slide between her fingers while looking at me. “I really think you should take the job.”

“I know. And I’m seriously considering it. I just have to weigh up whether I can work with Cam or not.”

After the interview, Evan met up with Jo and me at the beach. Now that I’ve filled Evan in on what’s happening, the three of us are sitting on the sand, discussing the pros and cons of me working at the new cinema.

“Forget Cam,” Jo grumbles. “He can keep his job in P.C., can’t he? He doesn’t need to transfer here. He certainly doesn’t need to bully you into finding another job. It’s not like you haven’t been looking. He has no right trying to control what you can and can’t do in Lightning Bay.”

From the moment I walked out of Jeremy’s office, Jo has made it clear she thinks I should take the job. She’d also made it clear that she and Cam are no longer on talking terms. Apparently, the two of them were locked in a battle of wills while I talked to Jeremy. Knowing my presence is now wreaking havoc on their friendship only adds to my ever-growing pile of guilt.

“You might be right,” Evan starts, “but if Cam is so determined to stand in her way-”

“She should just let him?” Jo snaps.

“I’m not saying that.”

“Then what are you saying, Evan?”

“Guys,” I jump in. “Please don’t start fighting about this.”

“I’m not saying she shouldn’t take the job,” Evan explains, ignoring me completely. “I’m just saying that his behaviour won’t make things any easier for her.”

“Coming back here was never going to be easy for her, thanks to Cam.”

“I’m right here. Please stop talking about me as though I’m not.”

Jo turns to me. “You don’t deserve Cam’s hatred, Kia. The real person he’s angry at is his mother. And I hate that he’s made you his scapegoat. Worse still, I hate that you’re okay with it.”

“I’m not okay with it, Jo.”

She raises an eyebrow. “Are you sure about that?”

“I am,” I say. “I mean, I’m not. I’m not okay with it.”

That doesn’t mean I don’t understand why I am the target of his anger.

Cam’s loyalty to his family has always been unswerving, and his relationship with his mother was a close one. His decision to blame me for the accident stems from his inability to handle the thought of his mother being anything less than perfect, I believe. He refuses to acknowledge his mother’s infidelity, or her decision to get in the car with my father, or her choice to place her eleven-month-old daughter on her lap when they drove off.

The conversation that took place on the beach during my first night home, proves that maybe he will never acknowledge her part in it – just mine. Two years did nothing to dull his hatred. There were moments while I was overseas when I deluded myself into thinking that when I did come home, Cam would forgive me. I was naïve and ridiculous.

“Then why don’t you ever stand up for yourself?” Jo asks. “Why are you willing to walk away from a perfectly good job because of someone who refuses to see things the way they actually are?”

“You know why, Jo.”

Aside from the fact that Cam will make my life difficult if I take the job, I’m still stupidly in love with him. Jo has told me I need to get over Cam. How on earth does she think I’ll accomplish that when I’m working side by side with him and seeing him nearly every day? Watching him make out with and hang out with Brooklyn constantly will tear at me.

Wiping the sand from my hands, I say, “I hate that he blames me, but I understand perfectly why he does, and maybe…maybe I owe it to him to be his scapegoat.”

“Why? Because you feel like you deserve the blame he’s cast at your feet? Trust me, you don’t. It wasn’t your fault, Kia. How many times do I have to say it? How many times until you start to believe it?”

“Two people died because I didn’t trust my gut. Instead, I trusted my father. They died because I was in a rush to get ready for our Graduation dinner. How easily could you absolve yourself of what happened in the same situation? I didn’t drive the car, but without the keys, Mollie and Cam’s mum would still be alive.”

“You don’t know that. Your father could have stolen a car, or-”

“But he didn’t because I gave him mine. I have to own my part in what happened, Jo. I know Cam blames me entirely, and that’s not fair. I don’t deserve to be held accountable for everything, but I am at least partly to blame. Cam clearly needs me to be a scapegoat for the accident. He can’t deal with it any other way. Maybe this is a way I can make up for my lack of judgement that night.”

Jo makes a disgusted noise. “So, you’ve decided you’re going to let him keep blaming you? That’s so, so…”

“Martyristic?” Evan offers.

“Pathetic, I was going to say. I bet you any amount of money, Kia, that you wouldn’t be taking his crap and letting him use you as a dumping ground for his anger if you weren’t head over heels in love with him.”

“Jo!”

My eyes dart to Evan – a friend who I’ve never told about my feelings for Cam. Evan, however, doesn’t look surprised in the slightest.

“What?” he asks. “Am I supposed to be oblivious to the fact you’ve been pining for Cam since forever?”

“Great,” I mutter. “I’ve been obvious.”

Evan shrugs. “Not to Cam.”

“Your guilt and your feelings for Cam are making you act like an idiot,” Jo says. “What you’re doing isn’t noble. It’s stupid. Cam doesn’t need you to take the blame. He needs to wake the fuck up and deal with what actually happening that night, instead of his own warped version.”

“And in your opinion, taking this job is going to do that?” I scoff. “More than likely, it’ll be like waving a red flag at a bull. He’ll dig his heels in and become more insistent I’m the reason everything in his life is the way that it is. And being his scapegoat from a distance is one thing, but if I have to see him every day at work…. God, it’s hard enough co-existing in this town without him as my friend. I’m still getting used to that. But working side by side with him when he views me as his enemy – as someone he hates – well that would be…”

“Painful,” Jo finishes for me.

Considering how I still feel about the guy? Absolutely.

By telling myself I’m choosing to be Cam’s scapegoat, it’s easier to maintain the illusion I have some control over the situation – that I’m choosing this situation. But I can’t do that on a daily basis. No way.

I run a hand through my hair – hair that is quickly becoming tangled in the light and salty breeze that’s coming off the bay. “I wish it wasn’t that way. I wish I was braver and stronger. I wish that I was over him already.”

Jo’s gaze softens on mine. “But you’re not, I know. And I know that working with Cam will be hard on you. Heartbreaking, even.” Jo looks at me meaningfully. “But Jeremy seems really cool. Not all bosses are that nice. And he really seems to like you and want you there, working for him. How many times do you think you’ll get the opportunity to work for someone who goes out of their way to recruit you?”

“In this town? Probably not many.”

“Exactly. Think about it,” Jo says. “It seems like fate. Your brother told you just this morning about the Diamond section, and then you went down there just in time for Jeremy to interview you. I think the pros totally outweigh the cons. Plus, Jeremy is really freaking hot.”

Evan makes a noise of disapproval and glares at Jo.

Interesting.

A few or so years back, I thought that Evan had a thing for Jo. I never found out whether he did or didn’t, however, because Jo completely freaked out when I mentioned it to her. She insisted Evan was like a brother to her and made me promise never to bring it up with her or Evan again.

“Dating the manager might be frowned upon if she does end up working there, don’t you think?” Evan asks.

“Don’t worry,” I assure Evan. “I’m not at all interested in dating the boss. As easy as he is on the eyes, he’s with someone, anyway.”

Jo pouts. “What makes you say that?”

“Well, he has a three-month-old. It didn’t make itself. And he said that he stopped travelling so he could settle down. Why would he do that if he wasn’t in a relationship?”

She sighs, clearly put out by my logic.

I relent a little. “He would be a great boss to work for, though. Which, by the way, he actually told me before my interview ended.”

“Did he really?”

Evan sneers. “He sounds arrogant.”

I smile. “He’s really quite nice. I like him.”

“Enough to take the job?” Jo asks. “Because I forgot to mention this morning that when our lease ends, Bethany says she’s moving back home. Meaning that I’ll need a housemate if you’re interested.”

“I am,” I say quickly. Then I put my head between my knees. “I really, really need this job. I need the money. What am I going to do?”

“You know,” Evan starts. “You could take the job short term. Until you find something else.”

“Jeremy said the exact same thing,” I tell him.

“Well, I’ve already told you my thoughts on the matter,” Jo says. “But if the idea of staying just until you find something else appeals to you, then do that. At least that way, you’ll have some money coming in.”

I nod. “I hate not being able to contribute financially at home.”

“And if you do decide to take the job,” Evan continues, “maybe you could talk to Cam about it first. Give him a heads up that you plan on working with him but you’re going to be looking for something else at the same time.”

Talk to Cam and tell him I’m going to take the job? I want to do that as much as I want to plunge my head into a bucket of razor blades.

But maybe it’s what I need to do. Maybe if I explain to Cam that I’m desperate for the money and I’ll be out of his hair as soon as possible, he won’t have such an issue working with me. Cam has always been fair and reasonable with everyone – before he blamed me for that night, anyway. Can I appeal to his sense of fairness?

And Jo’s right, Cam can keep working in P.C. if he really hates the idea of seeing me on a daily basis. Otherwise, he’ll just have to remind himself frequently that I won’t be there forever.

Covering my eyes from the glare of the sun, I look at Evan. “Does he still surf on Saturdays?”

“As far as I know, yeah. Over at Packer’s Peak.”

Packer’s Peak is a beach ten minutes down the road. Lightning Bay has wonderful beaches, but Packer’s Peak has better waves.

“Well, if I can borrow Mum or Riley’s car, I guess I’m headed to Packer’s Peak this afternoon.”

“Do you need back-up?” Jo asks.

“Nope. After the argument you two had this morning, I should probably do it alone.”

I could use the support, but I don’t want to put Jo in the middle any more than I already have.

“If you’re sure,” Jo says.

“I am.”

Mum’s reaction to my news about the job offer at the cinema only cements my resolve to take the position. Of course, she told me she didn’t want to force me to work with Cam, but the relief on her face when I said I was thinking about taking the job, if only for a little while, was obvious. 

Three hours after my conversation with Jo and Evan, I’m headed to Packer’s Peak in Mum’s Hyundai.

I park at the top of the cliff that overlooks the surf beach. The sun burns my exposed skin as I step out of the car, and I wish I’d put sunscreen on. At home, I changed out of the clothes I wore to the interview and now I’m wearing a pair of short denim shorts, ballet flats, and a light orange singlet with a bikini top underneath.

Photo by Ben Müller from Pexels

Walking over the barrier made of large grey bricks, spotting Cam the moment I look over the rail. He’s dressed in a blue and yellow wetsuit, the top half of which he’s just shrugging out of. I watch as he bares his perfect chest to the sun, letting the suit hang from his hips. He brushes his wet hair out of his eyes before laughing and looking at the people sitting on the sand near him.

The conversation we need to have would be difficult enough if he was here alone. I hadn’t counted on having an audience – one that likely hates me if they’re friends of Cam and he’s told them anything about me. Perhaps coming here was a mistake?

As though he's sensed me, Cam looks up and his gaze collides with mine, knocking the wind out of me. At first, I’m not sure he knows it’s me, but when his friends turn around to look up at me, scowls on their faces, I know better.

The last time Cam saw me standing on the beach, staring at him, he left his friends to approach me, but he doesn’t do that this time. I don’t want to go down there, but he isn’t giving me much of a choice.

When he tears his gaze away from mine and laughs at something along with his friends, I have the worst feeling they’re laughing at me.

Ignoring the way my heart is in danger of bursting out of my chest, I hold onto the memory of Mum’s expression of relief and start down the steep stone steps built into the rocky cliff face.

“Oh look, it’s the bitch from hell,” a guy with golden dreadlocks and angry grey eyes says.

Adrenaline rocks through me, priming me for a fight I don’t want to have. Other than Cam, these guys are strangers to me, and yet I’m sure that each of them hates me because of whatever they’ve heard from Cam and other people in the town. All of them look at me as though I’m a bag of dog excrement that might be thrown at them at any given moment. I wrap my arms around myself, trying to hide from their angry eyes. There’s no one else around but the five of us – no one to run to; no one to protect me and save me.

The hard glint in Cam’s eyes makes me swallow. My eyes drop from his, but staring at the hard, sculpted muscles of his body and the all too familiar desire unfurling low in my belly despite the situation have me quickly looking back up again.

“Twice in one day,” Cam says, grabbing the surfboard he’s standing beside before plunging the bottom of it into the sand again. “And you’re interrupting my surfing afternoon. Why the fuck are you here, Saskia?”

I flinch. “I’m sorry for intruding, but I really need to talk to you.”

“I have nothing to say to you and I’m pretty sure you have nothing to say to me. Nothing I actually want to hear, anyway.”

I glance at the three guys still giving me the evil eye. “Could we go somewhere else?”

He lets out a short, abrupt laugh. “I’m not going anywhere. This is my one free afternoon, and seeing you is messing it up enough. If you have something to say, say it and then leave.”

He’s so cold that I can’t help but shiver. My heart lodges in my throat and it’s an effort to talk around it.

“I know you don’t want me to,” I start, “but I’m planning on taking the job at the cinema in town.”

“Are you fucking kidding me?” he asks, taking a step towards me. “You came all the way here to ruin my weekend by telling me that?”

It’s all I can do not to step back. “I wanted to give you a heads up. It’s only going to be temporary until I can find something else.”

His stare is hard. “Can’t you just wait for something else to come up?”

“I would but my family…they need my help, Cam. They need me to take this job.”

I want to explain the situation to him – to tell him about our finances, my finances – but I’m confident he won’t be very sympathetic all things considered. He doesn’t care.

“My heart bleeds for all of you.”

His words prove it.

“Perhaps you could continue working at the cinema in P.C.; I know you want to be close to your girlfriend, but-”

“You think that’s why I’m switching to the new place?” Cam asks, his eyes flashing with fire and ice. “News flash, Saskia, I’m moving because I need to be closer to Dad. You probably don’t know this, since you’ve been globetrotting and living it up for the past two years, but he’s kind of a mess since your dad killed my mum and sister. Something he wouldn’t have had the chance to do if you’d actually stopped him from driving.”

“Cam-”

“Why the fuck couldn’t you have just stayed away?” he shakes his head. “I’m warning you, if you take the job, I’ll make your life so miserable, you won’t have any choice but to quit.”

I don’t doubt he’ll do his best. Fear and adrenaline shoot through me, hitting me in the pit of my stomach and making me feel sick. His friends holler out, communicating their agreement. No doubt they’ll help him make my life a misery if he asks them to.

How far will Cam go to drive me away? I don’t want to know. Guilty of such a horrendous act of betrayal in his eyes, he wants to punish me for the mistake I made – a mistake I will forever regret and be guilt-ridden over. And maybe I deserve to feel guilty, but will there ever come a time when he won’t feel the need to make me pay for it?

He doesn’t understand that the guilt I feel – the anger I’ve turned inward because of how easily I deluded myself into believing my father is already a punishment of sorts. He doesn’t understand that on top of the guilt and my anger and the fact I live with the decision I made, I lost his friendship, his respect and his comfort. I lost him. And being forced to watch him with Brooklyn while working with him will tear my heart out again and again. He doesn’t need to inflict any more pain upon me.

If I had another job to go to – if the Bay View Tavern had been hiring – we wouldn’t be having this conversation. I wouldn’t be here asking him for his understanding. But that isn’t the case and I don’t have any other options. I made a mistake that night, two years ago. Two people are dead, but I’m not. I’m alive, and even if Addie and Cam wish I was the one who died, I must find a way to live with the guilt and the pain caused. I have to find a way to live in the Bay.

“I told you, this is just temporary,” I try to reason with him one last time. “You don’t need to make my life a living hell, Cam. I’ll be out of there as soon as I get the chance.”

“I don’t care, Saskia. You take that job and I won’t pull any punches getting you fired or making you leave. The choice is yours.”

I shake my head. There’s no denying I’m terrified of what he might do, but I can’t back down.

“I’ve made my choice,” I say, hating the way my voice trembles.

Impossibly, his voice hardens and the ice and fire in his eyes explode. “So be it.”

“So be it,” I repeat, swallowing hard. “I’ll leave you to it, then.”

Turning around, I head in the direction of the cliff-side steps, but I don’t get more than a few steps down the beach when something hits me on the back of the neck. Whatever it is, it hits me with such force, I actually fall to my knees. Reaching up to grab my neck, I whimper as my fingertips graze the stinging flesh at my nape. I scoop off whatever it was that hit me before looking at my hand to see what it is. It appears to be one of the jellyfish that dot the shoreline. Tears sting my eyes as the chorus of laughter behind me registers, ringing in my ears.

I turn around, my whole body trembling as I look at the guy who has held my heart for years. “Did you really throw a jellyfish at me?”

Cam’s smile is twisted. “It wasn’t me.”

His arms are crossed, and I don’t know if he’s telling the truth. My gaze slides to the three guys still laughing their asses off on the sand. It could have been them. I’d be more inclined to believe it was one of them and not Cam, but I have no way of knowing.

The way he’s looking at me – his twisted smile – it’s so unlike the Cam I grew up with. The Cameron Anderson I fell in love with – my best friend – is gone. The evidence of that has been staring me in the face since we came face to face for the first time in years, however, I haven’t really admitted it until now.

The man standing in front of me is a cold stranger who is out to get me. One who will stop at nothing to make sure he knows how much he hates me – how much he wants me away from him. One who revels in the pain and humiliation of his enemy. Me.

Tears slide down my cheeks as I turn away from him and start back down the beach. I know there might be another flying jellyfish coming my way, but I’m not prepared to stay any longer when I’m starting to lose it.

When I get to Mum's car, I climb in and put the keys in the ignition. If I drive away while I’m still crying, I’ll total Mum’s car. I doubt that will go down well. Instead, I put a CD into the disk drive and skip ahead until the track selection lands on one of my favourite sad songs – a song by Ariel Carter, “All This Must Come to an End”. Then I let myself weep.

I weep for myself and for Cam. I weep for the friend he once was and the man he now is. I cry for everything I’ve lost, including my chance at happiness with my first and only love. I cry for my family who has struggled without me for two years, for my mother who doesn’t seem to be herself anymore. I cry for Riley and the responsibilities that have fallen on him while I was overseas, and for Dillon who has suffered silently and never stopped being positive. I cry until I can cry no more.

And when my eyes are dry and sore, I wipe my nose and face and get out of the car again, looking over the railing at Cam.

Within seconds, he looks straight up at me and I stare straight back down at him. Riley has heard me crying every night, but as of this moment, I’m done with tears. They won’t alter the past or bring back Mollie or Cam’s mum. They are a waste of energy. I will regret the decision I made the night of graduation for the rest of my life, but I must find a way to live with myself and the decision I made, and that means not hiding out in my room and pretending the world doesn’t exist.

So. This is my goodbye. It has to be. It won’t be easy, but I have to find a way to move forward – to live without Cam and stop mourning everything we had. As well as everything we never had.

The Cam I once knew – my best friend – he isn’t in there anymore. Gone is the person who protected me from the bullying of others, looked after me and swore we’d always be friends. Gone is the person I considered to be the most loyal, trustworthy and fair person I knew; a champion of the underdog. He no longer exists.

In his place is an enemy, and that is how I plan to treat him from this day forward.

“Goodbye, Cam,” I whisper.

Then I get back into Mum’s car and drive away, leaving my heart on the beach with the stranger I once loved above all else.

Episode 6

“Why are you here?” Cam growls, the black flecks in his blue eyes glowing as he stands in front of me.

At six-two, Cam has always been much taller than me, but I’ve never felt the height difference between us the way I feel it right now. Then again, I’ve never had to worry about Cam snapping and giving in to the rage he feels towards me. For years, Cam was my protector and bodyguard. From the moment he saved me from Nathan Kilkenny bullying on my very first day of high school. After that, I believed Cam would always look after me. But with him standing over me, glowering, I feel small and vulnerable.

It doesn’t help that he’s been running his hand through his hair, making it stick up, giving him the appearance of being taller than he actually is. Lips that I’ve always considered full and kissable are pressed together in an unhappy line, and the muscle ticking in his jaw tells me just how much he hates the fact I’m here.

“What are you doing here?” Jo asks. “We were told the manager was interviewing someone.”

“Yeah, me,” he replies, glaring at Jo.

“But you’re supposed to be working over in P.C.,” I say, clutching the resume in my hands even tighter. He can’t interview here. I need this job. He already has one.

“I want a job closer to home.”

Working with Brooklyn and Emily will be hard enough. But working with Cam?

Cam’s eyes fall on the resume in my hands. Snatching it out of my hands before I can stop him, he says, “Tell me you’re not here for a job.”

Damn it, as much as I want to prove Riley I’m a fighter, I don’t know how I can work with Brooklyn and Cam.

“Not anymore, I guess.”

His eyes meet mine, and it’s the first time he’s looked at me after the accident with anything remotely resembling approval in his gaze. I don’t want to back down. I don’t want to walk away from this job, especially after everything that Riley said, but I just can’t work with Cam. I can’t.

“It was too much to hope you might decide to leave again then, I suppose,” Cam mutters.

I lift my chin. I’m determined to stay and do what I need to do to help my family. Even if I don’t apply for the job.

“Sorry to disappoint you, Cameron, but I need to be here for my family. Despite what you think, your family isn’t the only one struggling with the aftermath of our parent’s affair.”

“Well that didn’t keep you here before, did it?”

It’s a low blow, but one that I rightly deserve. “You’re right. It didn’t keep me here before.”

Because I was so in love with you, I couldn’t see through the pain of hurting you and losing you.

This time, however, things will be different. They have to be. I don’t know how long it will take me to fall out of love with my best friend – rather, my former best friend – but it’s something that will be near impossible if I end up working with him and seeing him every day. The feelings I’ve carried for him for so long – the romantic dreams and hopes that have swirled around inside of me for years – haven’t dissipated despite the fact Cam wants nothing to do with me.

While overseas, my heart remained faithful to a guy who hated me. I never wanted anyone the way I wanted Cam. Secretly, I’m terrified I will never want anyone the way I want him. But I don’t have a chance with him now. Not in this lifetime, anyway.

That, perhaps, is what I need to keep telling myself. If I remind myself of that at every opportunity, I might be able to slowly sever the strings that he never intentionally wove around my heart.

Cam pulls his gaze away from mine and looks back down at my resume in his hands. I watch as he reads the first page and turns to the next one, scanning through my work history. Just like that, he’s all caught up on where I’ve been and what I’ve been doing for the past two years, while knowledge of what he’s been doing in that time will probably forever elude me.

“I think the Bay View Tavern is looking to hire a waitress,” he says, handing my resume back to me.

His warm hand brushes mine, sending my heart rate skyrocketing and my temperature soaring.

“Thanks for the tip,” I say, doing my best not to let him know how affected I am by the simple accidental touch.

“Well, I don’t want you working here.”

“Of course,” I mutter.

Cam isn’t helping me; he’s helping himself by making sure there’s no chance we’ll have to see each other. He doesn’t want me applying for a job here and that’s the only reason he’s even taken the time to browse through my work history. His words and his coldness twist my already mangled heart. Will I ever be able to look at Cam and feel the same cool reserve he feels when he looks at me?

“Thanks anyway,” I say before turning to Jo. “Let’s go.”

“Are you sure?” she asks, glancing at the closed manager’s door.

“She’s sure,” Cam answers for me.

I’m just about to agree and take my aching heart elsewhere when the door opens.

“Cameron, you’re still here?”

The man standing in the doorway of the office isn’t exactly the person I imagined when I pictured the manager. The tall, powerfully built good looking man might be wearing an expensive-looking navy pinstriped suit, but he can’t be much older than Cam, Jo and I. I would even question whether he is the manager if Cam didn’t look so caught out.

“I was just catching up with an old friend.” Cam’s eyes silently command me to go along with him. “We were just leaving, weren’t we, Saskia?”

Jeremy’s dark green eyes slide over me. His eyes are full of approval as he takes in my business attire. “You’re not here for an interview?”

“Ah, I don’t think so.”

He frowns as he started walking towards me. “You don’t think so?”

Cam’s glare snaps me out of my stupidity.

“I mean no. I’m not here for an interview.”

“Even though that looks like a resume you’re holding in your hand?”

Great, now I look stupid and scatter-brained. Just as well I’m not going to be applying for a job here, because I wouldn’t have a hope in hell of being taken seriously by this man after my vague answers.

Instead of looking at me as though I’m crazy, however, Jeremy merely smiles. “That’s too bad. Outside of Cam, we’re short on quality candidates and I had high hopes when I saw you standing here.”

His green eyes are so warm and his expression so friendly, I find myself offering him information. “I’m actually on my way over to the Bay View Tavern to hand in my resume there.”

He frowns. “But they filled the position for a waitress yesterday.”

Cam’s irritation is written all over his face when my gaze snaps back to his. “I didn’t know,” he bites out.

“Now that that’s sorted,” Jeremy says, “why don’t you let me look at your resume? Seems like you need a job and I need a waitress. We can help each other out.”

Cam’s anger radiates off him in waves as Jeremy takes my resume and looks through it, and my hands grow clammy with nerves once more as I stand between the two guys, one desperately wanting me to stay while the other desperately wants me to leave.

Jeremy’s grin is wide as he closes my resume and hands it back to me.

“You’re exactly what I’ve been looking for. You’ve got the kind of experience I want, and I’m impressed you’re so well-travelled.” He leans in and whispers conspiratorially, “I did some travelling of my own after I finished school. Best time of my life.”

I have to bite my tongue so I that don’t ask exactly how long ago that was. He doesn’t look old enough to have travelled and worked his way up to manager.

“Which country did you enjoy the most?” he asks

He’s so friendly, I can’t help but smile and answer his question. “Definitely Italy.”

“The pasta, right?”

“Yes, but also the beaches. They reminded me of home.” I feel my smile slip a little as Cam glares at me.

“Any more plans to travel?” Jeremy asks.

“I wish,” Cam mutters.

The smile on my face is so forced, my face feels as though it’s in danger of cracking. “No, I came home to start university this year. I doubt I’ll get away anytime soon.”

“That’s too bad, but I understand. When I found out I was going to have a daughter, I knew it was time to settle down and ignore my itchy feet. One day though...”

“Aww, how old is your daughter?” Jo asks.

“Three months today. She’s just started to roll. Gees. Listen to me. Next, you’ll have me whipping out the baby photos.”

I shake my head. “You’re a proud Dad. There’s nothing wrong with that.”

He raises his eyebrows. “There is when I’m attempting to informally interview you.”

“Oh.”

He points at his office. “So I’m just going to come right out and ask you to come in for an interview.”

“Now?” I ask. “But…don’t you have something else to attend to? Like another interview?”

He looks at his watch. “I don’t have anything on my schedule for another half an hour. Plenty of time for us to chat about the job.”

“Saskia has somewhere else to be,” Cam says firmly.

“Actually, she doesn’t,” Jo says. “Those plans changed the moment she found out there was no job going at the Bay View Tavern.”

Cam has made it clear he doesn’t want me to work here, and I don’t know how I can possibly work with him, but what if this is the first and only job offer I receive?

Jo has already put her hand on my back and is gently trying to push me in the direction of Jeremy’s office, all the while glaring at Cam. I need to make a decision about what I’m doing, but I’m not sure there is a good decision in this case. Either I agree to the interview and risk landing a job where I’ll have to work with the guy I’m trying to fall out of love with – the guy who hates me – or I walk away from this job and risk unemployment for who knows how long.

“Why don’t you just come in and talk to me for twenty minutes?” Jeremy offers. “You don’t have to take the job if you decide not to. From my understanding, there’s not a whole lot of work available in town at the moment, though.”

“Okay,” I say, throwing caution to the wind and agreeing to something I know will enrage my ex-best-friend more than my presence in Lightning Bay already has.

My heart speeds up as Cam puts his hand out and touches my arm.

“Are you sure you want to do this, Saskia?” His voice is soft. Silky. Yet there’s an undeniable threat interlaced with his words and it sends a shiver up my spine.

I’m terrified of how Cam might treat me if I actually take the job, but I haven’t taken it yet.

“I’m sure.”

Jeremy, who has watched the whole exchange between Cam and me with obvious interest, nods when I look at him.

“After you,” he says, motioning for me to precede him into his office.

“I’ll wait for you here,” Jo says.

That’s fine. That’s good. I just hope that Cam isn’t also waiting when I step out of Jeremy’s office in twenty minutes.

“Well, as I said before, you’re perfect for the job, Kia.”

Jeremy started calling me Kia about five minutes after we sat down in his office. I asked him to since that’s what everyone calls me. Well, everyone but Cam now. Besides, it doesn’t feel right to have him call me something so formal when this impromptu interview feels so relaxed. Sure, I now know all about the job and he knows all about me, but talking to Jeremy is more like having a conversation with a friend instead of a potential boss.

“Thank you, Jeremy.”

“You have a position here if you want it. I need to know by Monday of next week, though, because we start training on Wednesday. Technically, I should have finished interviewing days ago, but I was short on applicants and I was happy to take the time for Anderson. And now you.”

“So if I say yes, I’ll start this Wednesday?”

He nods. “And you’ll be paid for your training.”

“That sounds great. It all sounds great. I’ll get back to you by Monday.”

From everything Jeremy has said, I’m keen to say yes. Only one thing – or rather one person – stops me.

In the silence, Jeremy studies me carefully. “Kia, can we be frank with each other?”

Immediately worried about what he has to say, I smile. “Have we been anything but frank with each other?”

“What’s the deal between you and Anderson? Is he the reason you won’t say yes today?”

I look down at my hands, turning them over as I try to work out what to say before finally raising my eyes to meet Jeremy’s. “Cam and I…well, he called me an old friend, but the truth is that he was my best friend before…before the accident.”

The last thing I want to talk about is that night two years ago. How is it possible that less than half an hour after meeting me, this stranger has asked about the event I’m most ashamed of?

Why? Why did Cam have to be the person being interviewed when I turned up? Why hadn’t he applied and interviewed earlier? According to Jeremy, Cam’s application had come in late. With how serious things seem to be between Cam and Brooklyn, I assume Cam wants to work here because of her. So why didn’t he interview for a job downstairs with his girlfriend?

My insides burn with the thought of them working together, of how much Cam probably wants this job because of her, but I ignore the fire and try to concentrate on the man in front of me.

“The accident?” Jeremy questions.

I swallow. “The car crash that killed his mother and sister.”

Jeremy looks shocked. “How long ago was that?”

“Two and a bit years ago.”

“And he blames you for their deaths?”

“Yes. Needless to say, he isn’t happy I’m back in Lightning Bay. He warned me to stay away from him and yet here I am, thinking about working with him. He’ll make my life miserable.”

I hadn’t meant for all that to come out, there’s just something so friendly and open about Jeremy that I feel like I can tell him…well, everything. 

“I have to ask. What happened? Why does Anderson blame you?”

He’s so forward. So blunt. His question knocks the breath out of my lungs.

I look him in the eye, determined to tell the truth, no matter how difficult it is. After all, if this man is going to offer me a job – and it seems he really wants to – he needs to know about my history with Cam. Our history won’t just affect Cam and me, if Cam brings the drama, it’ll also touch the people we work with.

“I wasn’t in the car, and I wasn’t driving, but I’m the one who gave my Dad the keys to my car and told him to take it. I suspected he’d been drinking and I asked straight out whether he had. I shouldn’t have listened when he told me he was sober. Anyway, I did believe him and…he drove away from Lightning Bay, taking Cam’s mum and sister. Now Cam blames me for their deaths. His sister and father blame me. The whole town lays the blame for their deaths at my feet. And they’re right to feel that way. I was just so afraid at the time – afraid of what would happen if I didn’t give my dad the keys. I let that fear push me into doing something I wouldn’t have otherwise done.”

Jeremy’s expression softens. “You did what you thought was right at the time. You made a decision and two people lost their lives, but you weren’t directly responsible. If you wear the guilt of their deaths around your neck the way you have been it’s going to strangle the life out of you.”

“I know.” I’m afraid it’s already doing that. “But I don’t know how to stop. And I’m sure you can now understand why Cam doesn’t want to work with me. I never would have even thought about applying here if I’d known Cam wanted a job here.”

He frowns. “So, you weren’t actually on your way to the Bay View Tavern when you bumped into Anderson? You actually were here to apply for a job?”

Embarrassment heats my face. “Originally, yes. This morning my brother told me about this cinema and the Diamond section. When he suggested I apply, I thought I’d be safe to because Cam worked at the cinema in Patterson’s Cross. But-”

“I offered him a position in the Diamond section at the end of his interview.”

I nod, looking down at my hands in my lap, ashamed that a near-perfect stranger is witnessing all the feelings I regularly struggle with.

Jeremy sits back in his seat, his smile sympathetic. “You’re going to be competing with a lot of people for the jobs that are on the market. The unemployment rate is pretty high at the moment.”

I sigh. “I had no idea how bad it was before I came home. I’ve been looking for work everywhere, in and out of Lightning Bay, but…”

“You haven’t had any luck.”

“No. You know, I thought that with my experience it would be easy. I’ve lost track of all the jobs I’ve applied for.”

He nods. “Often, companies have to advertise, but most people are promoted from within or someone knows someone who is perfect for the job.”

“It’s not what you know but who you know,” I say, feeling defeated.

“Can you afford to keep looking for work for an unknown period of time?”

I shrug. “I’d rather not, but I might have to. I’ve already let my mother and brother carry the financial responsibility our father left us with for too long. I can’t afford to move out or help in any way without a job.”

My mum would understand if I turned the job down, but Riley? I don’t think he would. And I certainly wouldn’t feel great about it.

“Kia, I understand the dilemma you face working with Anderson, but the job is yours if you want it. And remember, you don’t have to be here forever. This could be a short-term job for you if you find something else quickly. I’ll require two weeks’ notice, but you could manage that, couldn’t you?”

“Yes.”

He’s right. It isn’t like I’ll be locked into a contract that has forever on it.

Looking at his watch, Jeremy grunts a sound of irritation. “We need to finish up, unfortunately, but I’d like to add that this is the perfect job for someone at university. It pays well and there’s lots of night work, so you’ll be able to go to school during the day and come to work at night.”

“Wow, you’d make an excellent salesman,” I inform him.

Perhaps Dillon ought to sign him up for ask-dillon-dot-com.

He grins. “I might have been told that once or twice. I’ll admit I dabbled in sales from time to time a few years ago.”

Again, I want to ask him how old he is and how he ended up here. I swear he can’t be more than twenty-four or twenty-five. He’s warm, enthusiastic and very nice to look at with his lively green eyes, symmetrical good looks and dark blond hair styled immaculately. Most importantly, he put me at ease and generally seemed passionate about the job he’s doing here.

“The question is,” he continues, “have I sold myself enough? Do I have you believing I’ll be a great boss to work for?”

I can’t help but laugh at his teasing because yes, he really, really would be a fantastic boss. Is he this easy-going and friendly with all of his staff?

“Yes, you have.”

“Well, maybe that balances out things with Cam.”

A smile still tilts the corner of my lips up. “Maybe.”

He stands up. “Think about it, Kia. Get back to me as soon as you can.”

I stand up too and we shake hands before he walks to the door and opens it for me. “Can you give me an answer by Monday?”

“I can and I will. Goodbye, and thank you for your time.”

He touches my shoulder on the way out. “Remember, don’t let that guilt keep choking you.”

I nod. It’s good advice, but it’s also a lot easier said than done.

Episode 5

"Hey, sis!" Dillon throws a soggy fruit loop at me, pulling my attention away from my newest e-book.

I put my e-reader down and glare at him across the table as though I'm annoyed that he's disturbing my peace, but I doubt I'm very convincing. It's impossible to feel any anger towards my sixteen-year-old brother. I've missed him too freaking much. His teasing and stirring this past fortnight is about the only thing that has felt normal since I returned home.

It's been two weeks since my plane touched down. Two weeks since I knelt on the beach and threw up everything I'd eaten that day – the confrontation with Cam and Brooklyn quite literally being too much for me to stomach. Two weeks since I nearly packed my suitcase and begged my mum to forgive me for leaving Lightning Bay all over again.

Only three things stopped me that night. The first was Jo reminding me that P.C. University wouldn't keep my place for another year. Usually, they only allow a person to defer for one year. Still, they accepted my application for two years because of 'extenuating circumstances'. I doubt I can push them for the third year, and even if I could, I don't want to. Falling further behind my peers is entirely undesirable.

The second thing that stopped me from leaving is that I promised myself I wouldn't be a coward any longer; I'm supposed to be done running. And the third thing is the fact I really don't have the money to leave. Mum paid for my ticket from London to Melbourne. Not that I didn't try to talk her out of paying my way, but she insisted I save the money I'd worked for to put towards a car.

It's a good idea, considering my last car was written off, and I only had third-party insurance. But things are tight at home, and I suspect the money she shelled out for my ticket was the mortgage payment for that month. Thus, I'm desperately looking for a job. Maybe then she'll let me pay her back. Or at least, I'll be able to contribute something to the rent.

"You know where you should apply for a job?" Dillon asks randomly.

"Where, oh, wise one?"

"The new cinema on Norman Street. Have you seen it?"

I shake my head. I've barely left the house these past couple of weeks, despite the fact Jo and Evan have called every day asking me to go out with them. One of the few times I did go out, I was just walking to the shops to buy milk, and I had the misfortune of crossing at a traffic light where Cam and Brooklyn had just pulled up to a stop. The way he looked at me through his windscreen sent me scurrying home like a scared little girl.

So much for being done being a coward.

I don't want to stay locked inside the house, afraid to leave, but I'm terrified of bumping into Cam again. He asked me to stay away from him, and I want to oblige. I also need to get used to the fact we aren't friends anymore. Something much easier to manage when locked in my room, enjoying a fictional world, and falling in love with fictional characters.

"What's the new cinema like?" I ask my brother.

"It's unreal. Everything is so new and clean." He scrunches his face up. "Not like the one in P.C. where your feet get stuck to the floor."

"How long has it been open?"

"A month. It'd be an awesome place to work. Air conditioning and free movies, who wouldn't be tempted? Plus, it would get you to stop reading. You've been reading that book for days."

I don't tell him I've been reading a different book every time he's seen me with my e-reader. Every alternate reality I get sucked into feels far more palatable than my current one. Plus, visiting places outside of the Bay through reading is more affordable and practical than actually leaving.

A long time ago, I painted the places I wanted to visit and escape to – landscapes and scenery. A couple of days ago, I picked up one of my old paintbrushes and a spare canvas lying around. I quickly put the brush down again, however, when I grew disgusted with my lame attempt.

Every time I think about the fact that I'm supposed to be studying Art at uni, I cringe at my rusty skills.

"Do you get a commission, bro?"

"Why, do you think I'd make a good salesman?

I grin. "Maybe. I mean, it's a good idea, Dillon, but I'm sure they've got enough staff already. They would have been advertising for months leading up to the opening."

"Ah, but that was for the general opening. They want new people for the Diamond section that's opening in a couple of weeks. You could actually use the hospitality experience you racked up in the U.K."

"Well, aren't you full of pertinent information this morning?" I say, feeling optimistic for the first time since I came home.

"Make that every morning. I'm thinking about starting a website, ask-Dillon-dot-com. I could give out some of my more excellent solutions. At a cost, of course."

"Of course."

I have to admit, Dillon is doing a pretty good job of selling me on the idea. I've been applying for every job online within a sixty-kilometre radius. So far, I've only had a couple of responses, and both of them were rejections. Now, I'm starting to feel desperate. The job agencies I've contacted are telling me there isn't much work at the moment. I'm trying not to despair, but sitting at home, day in and day out, feeling purposeless and cowardly is getting tired fast. If there's a new section opening in the cinema and they want people with hospitality experience, I might have a chance. With all the pubs and hotels I worked for overseas, it's not out of the realm of possibility that they'll consider me.

I'm about to tell my brother that I'll go down and give my resume to the manager when I remember that Jo said something about Cam working in a cinema. She said the cinema in P.C., though. It's closer to the university, so I guess that's why he's not working in Lightning Bay. Thank God. There's no way I'm applying for a job at the place he works.

"Mmmfphy."

My brother, Riley, mumbles something that sounds like good morning as he sits down at the breakfast table with Dillon and me. It's the weekend, so we're all up a little later than usual. Mum hasn't even surfaced yet. Gone are the days when she'd be up before us all, telling us the day was wasting away.

"Morning, Riles. How did you sleep?"

His only response is a grunt.

When I left two years ago, Riley was sweet, charming and just as talkative as Dillon. Now he's eighteen – legally an adult – and he's sullen, moody, and hardly what I'd call a conversationalist.

"That good, huh?" I ask.

He glares at me. "Why do you look so happy this morning?"

I feign shock. "Don't I always look this happy?"

Riley shoots me a blank look. After a moment, he shakes his head. "Oh, you're actually serious. Do you really believe I don't hear you crying yourself to sleep every night? You're adorable."

Next, he's going to reach across the table and pat me on the head. I need to add sarcastic and patronising to my list of Riley's new qualities. Since I came home, it's like he's trying to win the National Sarcasm Award.

"I haven't been crying every night," I say.

"At least every second night then, thanks to that dick, Cam."

"Don't say that. He's not a dick."

Riley's hazel eyes darken with anger. "How can you defend him? The guy has had it out for you ever since the accident. And his sister is worse than he is."

It's second nature to defend Cam. I'm still not used to the idea we'll never be friends again. So I ignore the comment about him and focus on his sister instead. "How is Addie?"

Riley and Adelaide Anderson are the same age and have just graduated from high school together. Unlike Cam and I, who were best friends right up until the accident, Riley and Addie have never gotten along well. When our families started vacationing together a few years back, Cam and I tried to keep them from being in the same room together. It was either keep them apart or watch World War III break out. They hate each other.

"She's still a bitch," Riley says.

"Riley!"

It sounds terrible, but if I'm honest, I've never liked Addie that much myself. She can be a complete cow when she wants to be. Which is far too often. She always thought she was too good to talk to Riley. She's called him a geek on more than one occasion, but he's never been one.

He especially doesn't look like a geek now. With his hazel eyes no longer hidden behind glasses, his light brown hair dyed jet black, and the piercings on his eyebrow and lip – both of which Mum hates – he looks the part of the rock band he's in. And with the heavy lifting and hard labour he's been doing at Gary's Auto, he's looking a lot more muscular these days.

"What?" Riley demands. "All she's done since you came back to town is spout off about how much she hates you and how she wishes it was you who died that night instead of her mum and sister."

I try to swallow the golf ball of emotion suddenly blocking my throat. That's pretty much what Cam said to me before I left the Bay. I hate knowing both of them wish me dead. Moreover, I hate that Riley is suffering because I'm back. It's not like he hasn't suffered enough.

"Well, maybe I'm chirpy because I just had some good news this morning. About a job," I say, wanting to give Riley something to be happy about.

"You heard back about one of your applications?"

"No." I motion to Dillon with my spoon. "But your brother here thinks I might be able to apply for a position in the new Diamond section of the Lightning Bay Cinema."

Riley looks at me then back at Dillon. "You didn't tell her, did you?"

"Tell me what?" I ask.

"It's nothing," Dillon says quickly, shooting a look at Riley.

"One of you spill, please. Now."

Dillon winces. "Well, Brooklyn Bishop may also be working at that cinema."

I spit out the spoonful of cereal I've just put in my mouth.

"Gross," Riley mutters.

"Brooklyn Bishop works there, and you weren't going to tell me?" I glare at Dillon. And this time, I'm pretty sure he can tell I'm legitimately pissed. "If I was a paying customer of ask-Dillon-dot-com, I'd be asking for my money back right about now."

"Hey, I gave you the information for free."

"I can't work there. Not with Brooklyn. No way."

Not only is Brooklyn my worst enemy, but she's also dating Cam. Her presence will undoubtedly attract his.

"She works downstairs, not in the Diamond section. You wouldn't be working together. Completely different levels."

"There's no guarantee she won't work in the Diamond section, and even if she didn't, our paths would still cross." Like every time we work a shift together. "I can't. I need to avoid her and both Andersons."

Riley shakes his head. "So you're going to stay inside for the rest of your life? Definitely doable. Not restricting at all. Forget a job and forget uni. While you're at it, why not go ahead and forget living your life, just stay in your bedroom and keep out of their way."

My mouth hangs open as I take in the anger burning brightly in Riley's eyes. Never before have I seen him so mad, and never before have I been on the receiving end of his wrath. He might have stirred me over the years, but we've always been close. Dillon, Riley and I are tight, for siblings. And Riley has always respected me and had my back. Ever since I've come home, however…Well, this isn't the first time he's inferred I'm…hiding.

"Riley, you don't get it," I say.

"No, I do." He pushes his chair back and stands up. "You say you're mad at Dad, but you're just like him. You're selfish, and you don't think about anyone else. Yeah, Cam turned on you, and it sucked that your best friend started to hate you, but you weren't the only one who suffered the aftermath of the accident."

I grew up with Dad telling me I was just like him. It's why I always cut him so much slack. We share the same birthday, and we both fancy ourselves artists. At least I did once upon a time. Hearing that I'm just like him, however, yanks the lid off the box I've been shutting that part of myself into. We're both escapists and dreamers. Dad also likes to drink far too much and struggles with living in the present. He hasn't been able to change in all these years. Am I just as incapable of change? I don't want to be like my father.

"I know I'm not the only one who suffered, Riley."

Riley leans on the table and glares at me. "Do you? We all lost something that day. Life wasn't the same for any of us after the accident - after Mum found out about the affair. Our whole fucking family fell apart, Kia. Our name was dragged through the dirt by Adelaide. But you just upped and left, leaving everyone else to pick up the pieces and deal with the fallout without a thought for anyone else."

"That's not true," I protest. "I thought about you. Of course, I did. Mum told me you were doing well. You told me you were fine."

Now that I'm home, however, I'm beginning to see how easily I deluded myself by taking them at their word. Riley has changed. And he isn't the only one. Mum is different, too. She seems to sleep poorly most of the time, and she's stressed to the max about money. Again, guilt sharpens in my gut as I think about the fact she paid for my ticket home when she probably shouldn't have.

Riley has been helping out by working down at the local mechanic's. He even put off going to university this year to work fulltime. Something I had no idea about until I came home and asked Riley why we wouldn't be joining me at university in March.

So, it's no wonder Riley is pissed at me. He's had to pick up the slack with Dad out of the picture, and now I'm telling him I won't take a job because I might see Cam and Addie. I'm so focused on my own pain, I don't seem to see anyone else's.

"I said that because Mum told me to," Riley informs me. "But it's bullshit. We've been here, facing the music and dealing with the situation. I thought that now you were back you were ready to deal with life again, but I guess not."

With that, Riley straightens and walks away, leaving his breakfast mostly uneaten.

I want to call him back and explain things to him, but what can I possibly say to make things right in his eyes? He's right about everything.

"Riley is always angry these days," Dillon sighs after a moment.

I push my bowl away from me. "He's right to be mad at me. I deserve his anger and hatred."

"He doesn't hate you. It's just… it's really sucked without you here."

I look at Dillon, concerned I've missed some significant signs with him, too. The sorrow and misery all over his face break my heart. I swallow, feeling another mountain of guilt added to the one already crushing me. All this time, my family needed me, and where was I? Overseas, escaping it all. I look down at my e-reader. Heck, I'm still hellbent on escaping reality.

For the past two years, I've let Cam's rejection of me and my friendship hi-jack my life. I've been running from the pain and guilt I feel instead of standing here and fighting side by side with my family. I want to escape Cam and Adelaide, most of this town, and everything else that doesn't feel right after that accident. I thought I'd stopped running, but staying here in the Bay is only the beginning.

I have been selfish and a coward. I am my father's daughter.

And if I don't start working a little harder, I'm always going to be like him.

I don't want to be one more mouth to feed, and I don't want to live at home any longer than I have to. Mum won't take any money from me until I'm working. I have to apply for that job. The idea of working anywhere near Brooklyn and seeing Cam again scares the hell out of me, but I'm not going to let that fear stop me. Not anymore.

"I think I'm going to drop my resume off at the cinema today," I tell Dillon.

He grins, getting up and dancing around the table in something resembling a victory dance. "Yes!"

"Let's do this," Jo says, opening the door to the cinema for me. "Hopefully it's Bishop's day off today."

"Hopefully," I mutter, thinking that if it is, she and Cam are probably off somewhere enjoying the summer day.

Jealousy, hot and white, fizzes through my bloodstream, making me feel too hot and cold at the same time. Cam hates my guts, but the memory of him kissing Brooklyn is a punch in the heart that steals my ability to breathe.

Trying desperately to fill my lungs with air, I walk into the cinema. Frigid air-conditioning and the smell of new carpet and buttered popcorn hit me as soon as the door closes behind us. Muted lights reveal poster after poster of movies old and new and A-list actors and actresses from years past and present. Straight ahead sits the ticket counter, while to my left side sits one of the longest candy and snack bars I've ever seen. The cinemas are on my right side, indicating cinemas 1-3 are on the bottom floor and cinemas 4-6 are upstairs. Fortunately, I can't see Brooklyn anywhere.

"Come on," Jo said, tugging on the sleeve of my blazer. "Over there."

Moving in the candy bar's direction, I focus on putting one foot in front of the other, nearly tripping when I see one of Brooklyn's lackeys behind the candy bar. She's wearing a cute grey and white shirt with the cinema name on it, and a gold bandana keeps the dark curls off her face. She looks harried but smiles when she sees Jo. A smile which quickly dims with she sees me standing beside Jo.

"Hi, Emily," I force out.

"Kia." Emily's smile looked as forced as my greeting felt. "How are you?"

"Great," I lie.

Emily Watts was a classmate at Lightning Bay High School. Since she and Brooklyn were such good friends, Emily and I were never more than acquaintances during high school. And after the accident, she turned her back on me like everyone else.

"You guys are busy this afternoon," Jo remarks.

"When aren't we? I'm feeling it today, though. God. Stubby got me drunk last night, and I didn't stop throwing up till three in the morning. I didn't see you there. At the party." Her gaze flicks to me and then back to Jo. "How come you didn't make it?"

"I had to work late last night. Didn't get off until ten, and by then I was too tired to do anything."

Before I went away, Jo and Emily never talked much. Yet now Jo and Emily party together? It's just one more example of how everything is different.

Well, everything except me. I'm trying to change, though. No, I'm not trying. I am changing.

At least, that's the goal.

"So, are after here to see a movie?" Emily asks.

"Actually, I'm here to talk to someone about jobs in the Diamond section," I tell her.

"Do you know who she can hand her resume to?" Jo asks.

Emily's eyes drop to the resume in my hands, and her lips thin as if she's just been told she needs to suck on a lemon. Clearly, the idea of me working here is one that doesn't please her. It's not like I'm dying to work with her either.

"You need to speak with Jeremy," Emily says stiltedly.

I'm not sure she would have told me that had Jo not been standing beside me.

She nods towards the escalators. "His office is on the second floor, but he's already interviewing candidates. He's even in the middle of interviewing someone right now, so he probably won't be able to talk to you."

"We'll wait till he's finished," Jo explains, pulling me along behind her as she starts walking towards the escalators.

"Wait!" Emily calls out.

"Thanks, Em," Jo calls over her shoulder, ignoring her friend's request to stop.

"If he's already interviewing, I'm too late," I moan as we take the escalators up to the second floor.

"Like she'd tell us if there were any jobs still available. Don't give up hope yet."

It doesn't take us long to find the office door with 'Jeremy Rawson' on it.

Taking a seat next to Jo on the grey leather couch outside his office, I try to think positively. I do my best to imagine myself walking out of here, celebrating my new job. Still, I can't get past the fact there is someone behind Mr Rawson's door, interviewing for the job – a job that I might want.

Finding it impossible not to fidget and worry, I stand up and start pacing.

Jo shoots me an irritated look. "Will you quit that?"

"Sorry." My body is hotwired by nerves. "I'm just so nervous."

I continue pacing back and forth in front of the door, waiting for the manager to finish so I can give him my resume. The moment I hear the door handle turn, I stand still and wait to come face to face with the manager. However, when Cam walks out of the room, I realise I've got more significant problems than convincing the manager to hire me.

Dressed in a sharp black suit and shirt, looking equal parts intimidating and gorgeous, my heart flutters in my throat as his cold glare pins me to the spot. Is there any chance Cam wasn't here for an interview?

Episode 4

She's back. Saskia Berry, the girl I once called my best friend and shared everything with, is back. As in, she's standing right in front of me.

Why the hell did no one warn me this was going to happen? Jo and Evan should have said something. Anything. Springing her on me like this is the worst thing they've ever done. And considering some of the pranks Evan has pulled on me over the years, that's saying something.

"Cam, it's good to see you," Kia says softly, her soft hazel eyes telling me she means it.

I hate how much I want to tell her the feeling is mutual. Not a day has gone by when I haven't thought about and dreaded this moment. Now, here she is.

Stupidly, part of me is rejoicing at the sight of her. That's history for you. This girl used to be my confidante and the person who knew me best. I have so many memories of the two of us. At times I've missed her so damn much the pain has near destroyed me. But she's nothing to me now. She can't be. Not when I've worked so hard at putting my family back together. Her presence here in the Bay threatens everything I've accomplished. My family asked for my loyalty, and they have it. I owe it to them to continue to be the glue that holds them together, and that means forgetting Kia and everything she ever was to me.

Something that will be damn near impossible with her back in town.

"Well, it isn't good to see you."

Evan shoots me a warning look. "Chill out, Anderson. We thought you were working this week."

So they hadn't decided to spring her on me, they'd been hiding her instead. Perfect.

"You should have told me she was coming, Evan. And you," I say, pointing to Kia. "You're supposed to be thousands of miles away. Somewhere I don't have to look at you or think about you."

She visibly flinches, and I resent the pain it causes me to speak to her that way.

"Cam, come on," Evan says. "It's her first night home."

"I had to come home eventually," she says, pleading for my understanding. "I couldn't stay away forever."

She can't stay. I have to drive her away. There's too much at stake for her to be back in Lightning Bay.

"Who said anything about forever? Until one of us dropped dead would have sufficed."

Jo slams her palm against my chest. "Stop it! It wasn't her fault. You can't hold the accident against her forever. It was her father driving that night, not her."

"Don't tell me what I can and can't do, Jo-Jo. She might not have been the one driving, but she was the one who gave her father the car keys. It was her car they drove away in, or have you forgotten that?"

"Because he begged me for my help!" Kia yells. "He told me he was in trouble. I had no idea he was taking your mum and sister with him. I never would have given him the keys if I did."

"And the fact he'd been drinking didn't deter you at all!" I explode.

"He swore he was fine, Cam. Maybe I shouldn't have believed him-"

"You've always seen what you wanted to see when it comes to him, and this time your ignorance cost me my family."

That night my family went from being a unit of five to a unit of three. There have been times since when I've wondered whether my sister and father would survive the pain of that enormous transition. I've feared both of them would check out of this life and leave me all alone. Devoting my time and energy to help them get their shit together means I've abandoned my own need to grieve. But finally, after all this time, I'm starting to see the payoff.

Addie has finally stopped screwing every guy that moves and drinking herself into a coma every night. My father is getting help with his grief and depression; he's stopped flying into a rage and hitting the bottle too hard. My family is starting to heal and knit back together, but Kia's presence in town is likely to set them both off all over again. They blame her for the accident more than I do.

Just when I thought we were getting back to some kind of normal, Kia shows up and jeopardizes it all.

"You're right," Kia says. "And I'll never forgive myself for that, but-"

"There are no buts, Saskia. He never would have had those keys or a car if it weren't for you. He'd already been convicted of drink-driving. He had no car, and he had no license, and yet you still handed your keys over as if it was nothing. You didn't think. But then you never think, do you?"

Her eyes are full of apology, but the misery in them only makes me angrier.

"One of the people I trusted the most in this world let her father drive away over the legal limit with my mother and baby sister in the car. I will never forgive you for that. I can't."

"Cam," she whispers. Begs. "You're not being fair. You can't put it all on me when our parents were the ones having an affair."

As if the accident alone hadn't destroyed our family enough, we'd learned that my mother and Kia's father had been sleeping together. The night that Kia's father had run a red light and been hit by a truck, the three of them had been leaving town together. And the reason they were running? My dad had threatened Kia's dad, so they'd decided to skip town and shack up somewhere as some make-shift family. They'd rented some little shithole one hundred and twenty kilometres away from the Bay.

Everything about that night – about what happened – is so fucked up. Addie has blamed me for bringing the Berrys into our life on more than once. Sometimes I wonder how different my life would have been if I'd never spoken to Kia on her first day of high school. Would Mum and Mollie still be alive?

Is what happened all on Kia? No, and I can admit that. I can even acknowledge that turning my back on her still eats away at me at times. Loyalty is something I pride myself on, but family comes first. And Kia's family and my family are done. So done, we need a new word for it. And I can never let go of the fact that Kia could have stopped the accident from happening if she hadn't been off in her dream world, like usual.

"You want to talk about fair?" I ask her, bitterness circulating through every cell in my body. "I lost half of my family in one go, and yours is playing at putting itself back together as if the accident never fucking happened. How is that fair?"

Her eyes are wide as she takes in what I've told her. After a second, she shakes her head. "My mother would never forgive my father. Never."

"You've been gone for two years. You know jack shit about what's going on here, so don't pretend like you do. Stay away from me. And stay away from my father and sister, too. They don't want you around any more than I do."

It's not until I feel my girlfriend put her hands on my arm that I realize just how tense I am.

"Cam. What's going on?" she asks.

Kia freezes as she takes in Brooklyn's familiar gesture.

Brooklyn's hatred of Kia was an issue for me back in high school, but it isn't now. I've gotten to know Brooklyn very well since Kia left town, and sure she's still a bitch, but I kind of admire that about her now. The fact is, she practically raised herself. Brooklyn is as tough as nails. When Kia and I were friends, I used to appreciate the fact that Kia needed me – that she was someone I could look after and take care of, but Brooklyn doesn't need me. She's used to taking care of herself, and with everything I've got on my plate right now, that's a relief.

Plus, Brooklyn is hot as hell and has had a thing for me for ages. When she made a move on me six months ago, I couldn't turn her down, and I didn't want to. While Kia has been away, running from her guilt and the fallout from the accident, Brooklyn has been here helping me when I need it and letting me vent about my family. She's listened to my worries about Addie and offered advice, and it was she who sat with me in the hospital the night my dad tried to off himself.

Brooklyn turns me around and stands on her toes, and I dip my head, knowing she wants to kiss me. She's staking her claim.

I want to be into it, but I just feel numb as her lips move against mine. I'm too full of turmoil to appreciate her efforts right now.

When I finally break away, I see that Kia is doing her best to hold her tears in. At the last moment, she fails, and one slides down her cheek.

Immediately I squash the guilt and regret I feel. It used to be Kia and me against the world. Now it's her versus me, and every point matters.

"Aw, what's the matter, Saskia?" Brooklyn asks in a faux-sympathetic tone. "You look like you lost your best friend."

Kia whirls around and runs down the beach as fast as she can.

I stand there, trying to look like I'm entirely unmoved. As long as no one guesses just how much I'm not, then it doesn't matter how much I wish I could run after her.

Jo shoots me a glare and races off after her. Evan, however, isn't as quick to follow them.

"We go back a long way, Anderson. I know tonight was a shock for you. That's the only reason I'm going to let you off the hook for being a jackarse tonight. But I'll tell you this; she's back in the Bay with no plans of leaving. You'd better get used to the idea. If I have to pick sides, you're not going to like who I side with."

"You do what you have to," I tell him.

Indeed, Evan and I go back a long way, but that doesn't mean I'm going to let him tell me how to act around my former best friend. He didn't lose anyone in the accident that night. He wasn't the one who had to make a choice between his family and his best friend. He never had to hold his fractured family together by giving up all the essential things. Maybe if he had, he'd understand.

Treating Kia like she's not the girl who once meant everything to me will be challenging, but I have to keep the distance between us. Because if I let Kia know how much I've genuinely missed her – if I allow myself to dwell on the friendship we used to have – I'll never be able to stay away. And then my father and Addie will self-destruct.

I won't let that happen.

"Come on," Brooke says, tugging on my arm. "Forget him. Forget her."

I nod, letting her know I'll try. But Lightning Bay is too small a place to forget anyone. And when Addie and Dad find out that Kia is back, there's a good chance I'm going to be picking up the pieces all over again. Not just theirs, but mine. Because with Kia back in town and the two of us at odds, there's no way there won't be carnage. That's just what happens when the person you cared about most becomes your enemy. It's an all-out fallout. One I'm not looking forward to in the slightest.

Episode 3

"It's good to be home."

The lie doesn't exactly roll off my tongue, but it's much easier to tell my friends this than the truth – that home is the last place on earth I want to be.

"Well, what should we do first?" Evan asks.

The Lightning Bay Festival is in full swing. Between the delighted squeals of the people riding the rollercoaster, the blaring pop music, and the smell of burgers and popcorn travelling on the saltwater breeze, this moment reminds me of every summer I've spent in the Bay. And yet, it's nothing like it. How can it be when Cam isn't here to laugh with me and put his arm around me?

I lean back on the railing of the boardwalk and look at Jo and Evan's expectant faces. I'm still incredibly jetlagged after arriving at seven this morning, and the Aussie heatwave is killing me after spending the past few months freezing my butt off, but when my friends begged me to come out with them tonight, I couldn't bring myself to say no. I did at least warn them there was a strong chance they'd have to carry me home if I fell asleep.

"I could go for some fairy floss," I say. "That is if you guys aren't too grown up for fairy floss these days?"

Evan grins. "It's good to know you haven't completely outgrown us now that you're all worldly and experienced."

"Please. You two are way ahead of me in the game of life."

I have a little bit of cash saved but no job to speak of. And just like before I left, I'm back living with Mum. I have a long way to go to catch up to where my friends are. Despite the fact I've experienced a lot while travelling through Europe with my cousin, I fell behind in the ways that matter. Especially when I consider the fact I'll be two years older than most of the first-year students starting at Patterson's Cross University in March.

Is it any wonder Mum insisted I come home? “You have to stop running, Saskia. You can’t put your life on hold any longer. Please come home. Your family needs you.”

Jo puts her hand on my shoulder. "Hey, you know how jealous I am that you've been out there living and seeing the world while we've been studying."

"I wanted you to come with me," I remind her.

"I know, I know. And I've been saving every spare cent, hoping I could meet up with you at some point, but most of the money I make goes towards bills, my car, and the rent."

Jo doesn't look too upset about missing her chance to travel with me. Instead, she seems happy. Really happy. Her pixie face glows with contentment, and if her hair is anything to go by, she's enjoying the experimental nature of college. Her once strawberry blonde hair is now a bright copper colour, cut short in the back, with a longer fringe that frames her face. She looks stylish and oozes confidence.

Evan still has the same long sandy blonde hair curling over his forehead and lopsided grin.

The two of them don't look all that different. Their faces are both so familiar to me, and I talked to them nearly weekly while I was away. Yet now that I'm home, they feel like strangers to me. It's bizarre and unsettling.

"Well, I guess I have that to look forward to this year," I offer lamely. "The life of the poor uni student."

Jo shakes her head and smiles knowingly. "Uni is one long party. You're going to love it."

"Besides, it's about time you become that world-famous artist we know you're going to be," Evan says.

I force a smile. "Yeah."

After everything that happened with Cam, I rarely pick up a paintbrush or pencil anymore. He was my muse and the person who encouraged me the most. Without him, I just feel empty. Whoever says that grief inspires great art hasn't met me. How can I call myself an artist when I rely on another person to make me feel everything I paint?

And yet, an artist is all I've ever wanted to be. The only thing I've ever thought I'd be truly good at. If I'm not an artist, who am I?

I actively avoided thinking about it while I was away. Now I've been home for less than twenty-four hours, and I'm already stressing about it.

I'm so not ready for this.

Jo links her arm through mine. "Come on. Let's get some Jervis & James fairy floss. It's a tradition."

A flashback of sharing a stick of fairy floss with Cam sneaks up on me and flings me back in time. Because that was the tradition.

Travelling through parts of the world I'd never seen before meant I didn't always have to deal with these flashbacks. Now that I'm home, I see him everywhere I look. The memories have been doing a number on me since I left the airport.

Evan hooks his arm through my left, and the three of us begin walking towards the festival grounds. The happy Katy Perry song belting out of the speakers set up around the rides is a stark contrast to the emptiness and sadness rolling around inside me at the thought of what I've lost.

"My shout," Evan says, pulling out his wallet as we reach the first vendor we can find.

Knowing Jo and I will make it up to him by buying the next round of food and drinks, I don't protest.

"Do you want to walk up to the Cove?" Jo asks once we have our three sticks of Jervis & James fairy floss.

I freeze. Cam and I used to spend a lot of time at the Cove. It was where I first realized I'd fallen in love with my best friend. I'd been sick to my stomach with jealousy because Cam insisted on bringing his latest girlfriend to the Cove with us on New Year's.

Jo's expression is sympathetic as she reaches out and touches my arm. "If you're worried about Cam being there, don't be. He's working every day this week."

"Oh."

I nearly double over as his name socks me in the stomach. The whole time I've been gone, Jo and Evan never discussed Cam when I approached the subject.

The four of us were on the athletics team in high school, and we were all good friends. Still, I seem to have deluded myself into thinking the three of them wouldn't talk so much with me gone. It's something of a shock to hear that my friend knows what Cam is doing tonight.

"I didn't realize you still spoke with him," I say, trying to sound casual.

Jo looks down, shifting her weight and fidgeting.

"It's not like we hang out with him," Evan says. "But we don't…we don't ignore him."

"Of course not," I say hastily. "I never thought you should. It's me he hates, not you guys. It's just that neither of you mentioned anything about him whenever I brought him up."

Jo raises her eyes to meet mine. "He was the reason you left. We thought it would just be painful for you to hear about him and what he's been up to."

"Right," I sigh. "So, how is he?"

Many times over the past two years, I've wanted to know what was going on in his life. Now that we're finally talking about him, I can't hold back.

"Where is he working? What's he up to? How is he? Is he going to uni?"

"He's…okay," Jo says cautiously. "He's been working at the cinemas in Pattern's Cross. His sister is finally starting to clean up her act, but his father still has his moments."

"If he's working in P.C., he's going to Uni there, right?"

"He deferred for a year and then started his degree last year."

I try to ignore the way my heart is beating too rapidly. We'll be on the same campus in a couple of months, and even though we won't be in the same year, he'll be around. I won't be able to avoid him.

"Is he studying Health Science like he wanted to?" I ask.

Jo nods. "He likes it from what he's told us."

"Does he…?" I break off suddenly, trying to decide if I really want to know. "Has Cam ever asked you about me? Where I was or what I was doing?"

Jo and Evan's faces are matching expressions of sympathy. Clearly, Cam's hatred towards me hasn't waned in the slightest over these past two years. I ceased to matter to him the moment he found out about my part in the accident. Am I surprised? Not really, but I'll be lying if I say I'm not devastated that he doesn't care about me at all anymore.

I start walking towards the beach, determined not to indulge in any more self-pity tonight. "C'mon. Let's go to the Cove."

"We can stay here at the festival," Evan offers, falling into step with me. "If you think it'll be too difficult."

The Cove is about a fifteen-minute walk from the pier, where the festival is taking place.

"No. I want to go," I say. "Let's go."

It's probably a good idea to spend some time in the place that reminds me so much of Cam. It's the best way to prepare myself for seeing him again. Lightning Bay is too small a place to avoid him forever, and I have to ready myself, especially since we'll be at university together soon.

Jo and Evan fill me in on all the gossip as we walk down the beach. The water laps at the shore on one side of us. I'm doing my best to stay in the present – to listen to what my friends are telling me, nod and laugh in the right places – but I'm off with the fairies because Jo scares the crap out of me when she jumps in front of me, blocking me, and forcing me to a standstill.

"We should head back," she says.

"What? Why?"

"Yeah, why?" Evan asks.

The desperate look Jo shoots Evan makes my stomach drop to my toes, and when Evan looks past Jo and swears, I feel sick.

I shade my eyes and look over Jo's shoulder, studying the group in front of us. Even though it's getting late, and the sun is setting, the sunlight glares off the water, making it difficult to see into the distance.

"Who are they?" I ask. "Are they from our high school?"

Bumping into people from Lightning Bay High School is something I'd prefer to avoid at all costs. My family and I were outsiders when we moved to the close-knit town halfway through my first year of high school. Thanks to my position on the track team and the fact that Cam took me under his wing, people eventually accepted me.

Then the accident happened.

As soon as Cam's sister told everyone I was to blame for her mother and sister's deaths, I became a hated outsider once again. And the people I'd gone to high school with – friends of Cam and his sister? Well, they were the worst. High school might have finished, but the three weeks between graduation - the night of the accident - and my departure had been horrible. As if the grief and the guilt I felt weren't bad enough, everyone in town suddenly hated me as much as Cam did.

The faces of the people in front of me don't look all that familiar, though. My gaze skips from one to the other, trying to figure out who has Jo and Evan so wigged out.

After a moment of searching, my gaze snags on a tall, dark-haired guy towards the back of the group. His back is to me, but I can tell he's physically more impressive than the other males in the group. Tattoos cover one of his arms and one side of his back. The vivid colour and bold outlines are visible from my vantage point, but I can't see any of the details. I'm about to walk closer to him so that I can remedy that when he turns sideways and recognition hits me.

"Cam," I whisper.

I thought I'd watched him grow from a boy into a man in our teen years, but the transformation wasn't complete by the time I left. Dressed in only a pair of board shorts, I can see how much taller and broader he is. I always thought of him as the best looking boy in our year – in our school, actually – but he's no boy now.

And now that I know who I'm looking at, I'm confident that two of those tattoos are the names of his mother and sister. He would ink their names on his soul if he could.

My heart hammers, and my knees tremble as my eyes trace every part of him.

It's so, so good to see him. I've missed him more than I thought possible. Losing him has torn me apart. When he withdrew his friendship, it shattered something inside me, and I've felt fragmented ever since. Now that he's in front of me, it's like finding the missing part of me. The ache and emptiness that reverberates through me threaten to move me towards him.

"He's not supposed to be here," Evan mutters.

"Kia, let's go," Jo says, pulling on my arm.

I'm glued to the ground, however, incapable of movement.

Over the past two years, I've tried hard to move on from loving Cam. It seemed pointless to harbour such strong feelings for a guy who made it clear he hated me and wished I was dead. So, when my cousin suggested she set me up with a guy she knew, I agreed. Unfortunately, I couldn't generate much interest in him, and when he started pushing me for sex, I told him I wasn't ready. Sleeping with him would never have helped me get over my best friend.

Jealousy stabs through me as I watch a slender woman wrap her arms around his neck from behind. She presses her body against his, commanding his attention. Cam turns in her arms, and they share a kiss so full of passion and heat and desire that my heart rips apart in my chest.

Years ago, I promised myself I wouldn't be one of those girls I always read about in romance novels – the ones who never told their best friend how they felt, but every time I tried to tell him I was in love with him, he told me he had a new girlfriend. I never made it out of the friend zone back then, and now I'm not even his friend.

"Who's that?" I ask Jo.

Acid burns my stomach and throat as the mystery woman moves, and I see more of her face. I take in the long red hair tumbling down her back and her delicate, beautiful features.

"Oh, my God. Please tell me that isn't-"

"Brooklyn Bishop," Jo says reluctantly. "She and Cam are…together."

"Together?" I choke out. "As in, she's his girlfriend?"

"I'm sorry, Kia. I should have told you, but honestly, I didn't know how."

Jo is the one person who knows exactly how I feel about Cam. She's the only person who can truly understand the betrayal I'm currently experiencing. Brooklyn was my arch enemy in high school. I believe she hated me because she was jealous of my friendship with Cam. At every opportunity, Brooklyn went out of her way to humiliate me in front of him. I can't believe he's with her now and that she finally has what she wanted for so long.

"How long have they been seeing each other?" I force out.

"About six months," Evan says disgustedly.

"Six months?" I repeat.

God, this is so much worse than I ever thought it could be. To know he's with someone is bad enough. But to hear he's been dating Brooklyn Bishop for six months is far more than I can handle right now.

He's had numerous girlfriends over the years. Many of them bothered me, but he never dated them long enough to be considered serious – and deep down, I always felt like part of Cam belonged to me. That he was mine and I was his, and that we would happen when the time was right. Now, that's about the farthest thing from the truth. And every time I think I've accepted the fact I'll never be with Cam and that he'll never love me the way I want him to, I continue to be knocked off my feet by the pain that thought brings me.

"I'm sorry, I don't think I can walk past them," I say quietly.

"Of course," Jo says quickly. "We'll head straight back."

"Let's get out of here," Evan says.

I'm taking one long last look at Cam when he suddenly turns towards us and catches me staring at him. He frowns as he takes me in from a distance. I know I look different. My hair is shoulder length now, wavy and fluffed around my face instead of hanging down my back. And it's my natural light brown colour instead of bleached blonde.

Maybe if I wasn't standing with Jo and Evan, our hands full of fairy floss, Cam might have mistaken me for someone else. But as his gaze narrows and he shrugs off Brooklyn's embrace, I know he knows it's me.

My heart begins to race as he stalks towards us. It's like I'm waiting for the plane to touch down all over again. Adrenaline rushes through me as I wait to have him near me.

Once he's standing in front of us, his cobalt blue eyes flecked with black dots lock with mine. For a moment, he doesn't say anything, and neither do I. I soak him in quietly, afraid that if I say anything or reach for him like I want to, I'll remind him just how much he hates me.

Unfortunately, he remembers anyway.

His eyes are hard and full of ice as he stares at me. "What are you doing here, Saskia?"

The tone he uses is as controlled and icy as his eyes are, but it's the way he says my name that causes me to shiver. He always called me Kia, never Saskia.

Not that I needed it, but this is all the proof I need that things will never, ever be the same between us.

Episode 2

Summary

With friends like Cameron Anderson, who needs enemies?

Returning to Lightning Bay after two years, it's time to face the fallout with friends and family—especially my best friend, Cam, who I'm still hopelessly in love with. But Cam's hostility makes it tougher than expected. Now, I must decide: run again or stand strong. Leaving means wasted lessons; staying requires proving I've changed. No more relying on others—it's time to be resilient. If that means treating Cam as an enemy and the town as our battleground, I'm ready for the fight.

*CONTENT WARNING: Bullying in earlier episodes.*

Copyright © Elle Fielding

Note: Set in the year 2002, Lightning Bay (Love's Battlefield) is Kia and Cam's story. It is the first book in the Rockstar Bay Series and set before the town became known as Rockstar Bay. Find out where and how it all begins...

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